the

"what do You call parents once a week? Horrible, parents should call more often!"
"You are such expensive things to buy. I'm buying in ... OK!"
"her husband's Name not taken? So, I do not like"
"what sort of weight gained, so it is impossible!"
"And that there is your training? Long and expensive"
"yeah, pretty lucky, and I'm all she has achieved".


On the evaluation and depreciation.

In this topic I often brings forth images of perky Soviet films, where communism, party, "personality - nothing, all the staff," all "simple" actions and thoughts are valued, condemned, persecuted, and all "for your sake" and "then he will be grateful".


toxic? - Yes, "damage good", which nobody asked, in fact is a violation of the personal boundaries of the individual, and good flavor, and that the poisoning.

the Man did not ask, did not ask, and he has placed his signs, hanging labels, without hesitation. 


he is so accepted in the family, with friends. When there is no sense of personal boundaries, a person does not feel where they end and dreams that the world and the other is in some sense like him and if the person “stumble” in his understanding, it is “fix”.

Anger - Samandarova reaction to the violation of personal boundaries, and in this case it is important to make clear to man his  attitude. 


you Can, of course, explode "what the fuck, are you crazy, who are you anyway?" and to pounce with insults and fists at the enemy, but if you don't plan to break the relationship and they get some degree of the road,  your contribution to the relationship will notice his anger and restrain himself from blind reaction, to look for a more clear and understandable expression, clearly indicating your position. 

"For you it is, to me differently and I don't want to compare/to discuss/to talk on this subject"
"I respect our differences and wish you, too, respected"
"For me it is not and I hate that you give the rating that I did not ask"
"We are different and now I feel you devalue my talents/knowledge/skills it makes me angry and upset, I beg you not to do it"
"What do you mean? - ... - I felt that you condemn me, let's not give estimates and judgments, if a person asks"

there is No ideal way to deal with valuation and depreciation, it depends on personality of person, his reactions, experience and relationships, so everyone can choose for himself how to act, but I hope my examples of what to do with you.


2019-05-07
Статья выложена в ознакомительных целях. Все права на текст принадлежат ресурсу и/или автору (B17 B17)

Что интересного на портале?