Not only the death of loved ones brings sorrow and suffering. What do you do when the word "divorce"? The shock of such application not less than at the news of the death...
suppose you lived in a happy marriage. Not everything went smoothly, but who else? Tears, tantrums, screaming. And then one day your wife or your husband says he wants a divorce.
Or, for example, for years you have been in an unhappy marriage, but "pull strap" for the children, and it may be hoped that with time everything will be settled. But you are no longer able to endure this situation and, gathering all his courage, dare to tell your spouse that you are willing to divorce.
Regardless of who the initiator of the divorce, both spouses suffer a heavy loss.
If divorce is inevitable, before both raises a number of questions:
- the Right thing to do? (how to live? what about the children? as children perceive it?)
- How did this happen? (all my fault/Ah! I asked/and sorry! I was/a tough/a with respect to the partner!)
- What do you think friends? (they won't understand. now I have no friends! they'll be judging!)
- How do I tell the family? (everybody will blame me!) and so you can transfer indefinitely......
Shock following the decision to divorce is similar to shock from the news of the death, divorce only when you die not a man, but relationships and dreams, born on the wedding day. With all of today's many divorces, the bride and groom at weddings that I have attended have always counted on the marriage of a lifetime, no less!
do you Know if your marriage failed, that is, to hear about the death of a spouse. Some have told me that the news of the divorce even worse than the death of a loved one.
the First week after the decision to divorce is a time when you especially need to take care of yourself.
I recommend you do the following:
1. Think how you had the condition before the divorce. Yes, as in the case of death, this is the first step! If you have recently been sick, if you have high blood pressure or a heart condition, immediately consult your doctor.
2. Be careful about your diet. Yes, it's the same thing with the death of loved ones! You may be tempted to drown his anger and pain excessive drinking or eating. The desire is understandable, but it does not help.
3. Find someone you can talk to. Most of all, now you need a sympathetic listener who will never judge or give a lot of advice, a person who genuinely cares about you. As in the case of death, it is important to tell how it all happened. You yourself made the decision or is the spouse(a) collapsed(a) a bomb on you. What do you feel? Say!
4. Do not keep the divorce a secret. Let him know as soon as possible family, friends, priest, staff, business partners. Much worse than expected with the fear of what they say.
Be open. You have nothing to be ashamed of. If the family or friends you will not understand, that's their problem, not less of your.
5. Know that your present state is not eternal. If you are like most divorces, you cover then anger, then panic. If you announced the divorce, you may have a period of intense euphoria. If this blow fell on you, you may feel that you betrayed, crushed. Remember: you will not necessarily feel that way. If you ascended, you will soon fall; if torn - recover.
6. Ask legal advice, find spiritual and emotional assistance before taking the irreversible decision. Are countless cases where people were having trouble operating under the influence of emotions. And Vice versa, all I know of the people who came out of divorce that is called "on horseback", have benefited psychologically and spiritually from good advice. If you have children, this advice, such help is absolutely necessary.
I really hope that this article helps at least one person.