What is self esteem and what is self confidence

Interesting that most Russian respondents, these two concepts are either not share, or consider them as interrelated as the chicken and the egg. But it is not.

With all the many definitions of both there is a clear distinction. Self-esteem refers to the person, this concept is internal, expressing your self-concept and feelings to himself. This is the answer to the question: "Who am I?" Self-esteem is formed very early – from birth and in the first years of life. When talking about the need of self-acceptance that you need to "love yourself", talking about self-esteem, because self-esteem is recognition of the value of his personality. Self-esteem is quite rigid. It is almost not affected by the success, achievements and external evaluations.

Confidence – a concept largely foreign, associated with acquired throughout life, knowledge and skills. Answers the question: "What can I do?" and formed at later stages of development as one learns and achieves success. This concept is much more flexible and movable than self-esteem, and can change throughout life depending on circumstances and experience success.

is it Possible to have a high self-esteem without achievements?Of course. You can be a milkman to deliver in the morning, the orders to its customers, feeling the infinite dignity and respect for yourself and your business. Is it possible to graduate from a couple prestigious schools, get a degree, learn perfectly several languages, to make an enviable career and live in confidence that "something is wrong with me"? Also possible.

of Course, in the second case, the confidence to create the life support. But it will not replace a high esteem, as is often the case with immigrants from the former Soviet Union.

you Can be a milkman and to experience the infinite dignity and respect for their work. And you can graduate from a couple prestigious schools, get a degree, to make an enviable career and live in confidence that "something is wrong with me".

what affects self-esteem?

First of all, the sense of self – understanding and adequate assessment of their strengths and weaknesses, dignity, and contentment with oneself.

secondly, on relationships with people. Because the deep (and not declarative) the recognition of their worth as a person, respect her and, as a consequence, the ability to build its border leads to the fact that others will recognize that value and respect the boundaries.

people with low self-esteem satisfaction with the relationship is always lower than people with high self-esteem. There is often the feeling of lack of respect from anyone, the constant encroachment on the interests, indifference to opinion. The world as a whole is perceived as more hostile, and people spending power to readiness to defend themselves and to prove their value and right to respect.

But back to the issue of integration. In what ways our different attitudes to self-esteem and confidence? In many aspects, which have to face an Expat, including in our relationship to social and career growth.

Our careerists. And here's how it happened

have you Ever compare the approach for admission of school leavers to higher educational institutions in the West and in Russia? In the West (it was more about the European middle class) with all due respect to the institution of higher education graduates spend more time on self-determination and preparation – sometimes to several years. However, the fact of the failure immediately after graduation is not a tragedy and shame for the family. In Russia, skipping even one year is perceived with a higher voltage, and the parents are ready to mourn the fate of the future "loser."

Those who have experience in international companies, you probably noticed that for those Western companies the lack of a great career when you meet the other conditions is not a reason to find a new place. To occupy for several decades, the same the position of sales representative or assistant of the usual and quite often a choice, not affecting the self. Russian workers rarely imagine myself working outside the movement up or sideways and set themselves a high bar, tying them to age or tenure in the company. Especially noticeable is this difference on the international activities of corporations. Where European departments represented by people of Mature age, their Russian colleagues often barely reach 30 years.

In Western society, the fact of the failure right after school is not a tragedy and shame for the family. In Russia, skipping even one year is perceived with a higher voltage, and the parents are ready to mourn the fate of the future "loser."

Good or bad? Neither one nor the other. We only emphasize the difference in the importance of achievement and the importance of the external add-on, which is confidence in different countries and cultures. This difference is important to keep in mind when planning his career in the Western offices. This will help avoid frustration: upward movement may be much slower than in Russian divisions of the same companies.

the Impact of collectivist values

Another factor that influence how we feel, and how expected and acceptable to the new environment, we Express ourselves, is historical. Decades of dominance of collectivist values in Russia led to the fact that the value of the person is devalued, while the obvious difference of British individualism. Of course, this difference in approach can impact on parenting and, as a consequence, their self-esteem throughout life.

the impression that the successes and achievements (winning in sports, "five" in high school, playing a musical instrument and a solo exhibition in the city gallery) for those born in the USSR/Russia, serve as a substitute for the underlying intrinsic value – a good stable self-esteem. While in European culture the dignity exist apart from the achievements, that does not exclude respect for them, if any.

what a person faces integrating into Western society?With a lack of self-esteem, because in the new environment the existing experience and achievements are reviewed and revalued, the inevitable deficiency of knowledge and skills in any field – linguistic, cultural, professional, and self-confidence as the quality of the movable, is reduced. And in the absence of a good enough self-esteem loss of confidence is experienced particularly acute and painful.

What if self-esteem is difficult to change, especially independent? It is important to remember:

    ...not necessarily to everyone's liking. If someone likes you somewhere around the corner there are the people you're aggravating. But expect respect for yourself and your wants and needs now necessarily;
    ...adaptation and integration do not mean that you need to break and remake (it's possible, if you want, but we don't like). To adapt does not mean to become comfortable and to sacrifice their interests;
    ...adaptation and integration do not mean any rejection of culture, nor rejection of one's own personality: if you like to be skeptical or gloomy, be. Learned smiles will not help.

And since we're so beautiful in quarries and rapid intellectual breakthroughs, to build and strengthen confidence in themselves and their own strength, mastering new information and skills. In addition, the lack of self-esteem can be offset with good communication skills that improve relationships with others.

How can you improve your communication skills in a different environment and not go crazy from embarrassment?For starters, you can simply follow the behavior of new acquaintances: 'Si fueris Romae, Romano ▶ size: more; si fueris alibi, ▶ size: sicut ibi' ("when in Rome do as Romans; in other places live like a local"). Any of our symptoms cause some kind of reaction from the community. And if love of the British for the life of small communities (neighborhoods or villages), it is often sufficient to select the standing pub to sing carols at the local Cathedral at Christmas or to join the organization of festivals, parades and masquerades.

the Copying behavior of others (or 'fake it till you make it') is acceptable and safe method of adaptation and at work. If everything on Friday went to the pub – join, even if you think that your interests don't particularly overlap. If a colleague wants to grab you coffee, invite next time the same.

This method is comfortable even for those who himself does not believe. If you came on the stage/field/court/office, kitchen, surrounding you see not a third grader Kolya, who again is the worst of all wrote the pilot, and prepared to criticism and their own. Or those who should love and who should admire.

That doesn't make you a different identity and enhance self-esteem, but will facilitate the process of adaptation and integration.

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Ksenia Borisovna
Статья выложена в ознакомительных целях. Все права на текст принадлежат ресурсу и/или автору (B17 B17)

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