the
People-manipulators. As a Gestalt therapist I can not agree with this formulation. Each of us tries to manipulate other people in order to get something from them. At someone it turns out better someone who has honed skills of manipulation to the level of skill... but that does not mean that this person - manipulator. Surely he there are moments when it builds communication differently.
What do we mean by the word manipulate? I think we this word denotes a mode of communication in which a request is not expressed directly, and is issued in a form that the object manipulation experience guilt, shame or fear and thus be forced to perform those actions which he should do. I accidentally used the word Object. Manipulative uses of a person, object, functional, not building him a subject-subject relationship, not interested in his desires and forces to discharge their force.
understand that you are manipulated?
Very simple. If you have a response to a phrase, or even silence, a raised eyebrow or pout there's a sense of guilt or shame or fear and you really want to blow up and to do something for that person, then most likely it is. And what do you do?
To begin to learn to notice such moments. And noticed not to rush immediately to do what you want, and to stop and listen to yourself:
why would you do that?
so what?
as far as your feeling that you have something does not do what you do some are not, that you will lose something valuable... true?
what you want to do really?
like what you want will bring you what you want?
what you choose to do what you want or not?
is it Possible to retrain "manipulators", so they don't... ?
I do Not think that the idea of struggle and re-education may have some positive and long-term consequences. Adult people rarely change, I would even this task is not set.
But if you focus on yourself and your feelings will every time to listen carefully to what is happening with you, if you each time to choose what to do, gradually you will start to feel more adult and confident and then in relations something might begin to change.Julia Koloska
People-manipulators. As a Gestalt therapist I can not agree with this formulation. Each of us tries to manipulate other people in order to get something from them. At someone it turns out better someone who has honed skills of manipulation to the level of skill... but that does not mean that this person - manipulator. Surely he there are moments when it builds communication differently.
What do we mean by the word manipulate? I think we this word denotes a mode of communication in which a request is not expressed directly, and is issued in a form that the object manipulation experience guilt, shame or fear and thus be forced to perform those actions which he should do. I accidentally used the word Object. Manipulative uses of a person, object, functional, not building him a subject-subject relationship, not interested in his desires and forces to discharge their force.
understand that you are manipulated?
Very simple. If you have a response to a phrase, or even silence, a raised eyebrow or pout there's a sense of guilt or shame or fear and you really want to blow up and to do something for that person, then most likely it is. And what do you do?
To begin to learn to notice such moments. And noticed not to rush immediately to do what you want, and to stop and listen to yourself:
why would you do that?
so what?
as far as your feeling that you have something does not do what you do some are not, that you will lose something valuable... true?
what you want to do really?
like what you want will bring you what you want?
what you choose to do what you want or not?
is it Possible to retrain "manipulators", so they don't... ?
I do Not think that the idea of struggle and re-education may have some positive and long-term consequences. Adult people rarely change, I would even this task is not set.
But if you focus on yourself and your feelings will every time to listen carefully to what is happening with you, if you each time to choose what to do, gradually you will start to feel more adult and confident and then in relations something might begin to change.
