Customers often asked me: "how to tell the other about your boundaries so that he did not feel unpleasant emotions?"
Answer – no way.
we are So constituted that when faced with any constraints experienced at least Displeasure. It can be different then to call it – the anger, resentment, indignation, sadness, surprise... those who like. But definitely Not Fun.
for example, I have needed to buy a bulb. I go to the hardware store and it is already closed. Evening because, and I'm on the clock do not look. Faced with the limits of the work schedule of the store. I don't like it. Upset, angry. Have the evening in the dark to sit. But tomorrow I have time comes to purchase. the
same thing when I suddenly discover that something can't or don't know how. It is also my boundaries. Or limits. For example, I thought that I could get a vase from the top shelf. And no, you can't... have to drag myself behind the chair. Without great joy, for sure.
the Most important fact about borders – they are only detected at the time of meeting them. So, if your friends already know you, and as impossible, only because it was already dealt with you. That is met with your limits and have experienced the beauty of this meeting. br>
Another such moment. If one person represents the border and the other gets upset so much that threatens to break relations, then one of two things:
- either you suffered for a long time (not reported trespassing in the beginning) and then exploded and caused severe damage
- either you are in a dependent relationship (if so, you will feel that you are the worst person in the world to love you, you can not).

If you have said so many times, but you can't hear, then:
- you may all the time speak the same words, only louder. Pick up the other.
Example: "Late calls really spoil your karma..." Another option: "don't call me after 10pm, I'm already resting."
- your words with action.
Example: "don't call me after 10pm, I'm already resting." Call at 10.32. "You don't listen, I told you not to call me..." Another option is to not pick up the phone. br>
And the last: discover your own boundaries and to convey this information to others so that they heard it (to find the right words) is your responsibility. If you already shout (you shout, sat down on the neck, you in mid-stutter), and you still have not heard – stop and think what you can do differently.
©Natalia Emshanova

Emshanova Natalia
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