Today I want to talk about planning for conception at different stages of the family. What is this stage? And how do they affect the motivation to conceive themselves marital relations?
the Family is a complicated organism, and it is like an ordinary person goes through different stages of development from birth (e.g., wedding) until death (when one of the spouses). He hurts and he also has his age crises, you need to pass.
When the family is healthy, when it solves its internal problem, then the birth of a child in the family favorably. But it also happens that the family is "sick". The conception and birth of a child in this period will have a negative impact on his development and health, and the partnerships.
What is the crisis of family relations, this is when the urgent needs of the spouses are not permitted, the system and roles within the family are not rebuilt. And then "recovery" drags on. Spouses, and often one of them sees the conception and birth of a child way out of the family from the crisis situation. But the attempt to solve the crisis through pregnancy and childbirth, as a rule, are not successful. But with the birth of the baby on the contrary worsen the situation, because the birth of a child determines the transition of the family to the next stage, and the degree of formation of the marital relationship (Holon).
it is best to follow stages of development the family is on the dynamics of the marital relationship. And the first stage - the stage of premarital relationships. This is the stage of love and euphoria. When everything seems "rosy". Enhanced libido. The shortcomings of the partner are not noticed, all topics revolve around the beloved, and other areas of life recede into the background. And if the partners really become near and dear to each other, the decision to start a family. But this is not a favorable stage for conception and birth, because the couple are still in a distorted reality and a shortcomings of each other do not see, and possible difficulties are not aware of.
the Second stage is called the stage of confrontation and occurs when the couple begin to live together. In fact, it is the collision of two generic systems. The collision of those habits, rules, values that were cultivated and supported by everyone in his parental home. It's the life experience with which both spouses come into their family. And accordingly, when starting life together, the couple faced with the expectations and each other's ideas about family life, based on its experience gained in the parental home. Begin to see in each other those qualities and habits which had not noticed before. Besides, often the parents of the newlyweds violate the boundaries of the family. As a result, the confrontation between the spouses increases. The duration of the stage of confrontation is variable and depends on many factors: the motive of the marriage, separate or sharing a room with parents, welfare, etc. All this adversely affects the strength of family relations and consequently on the conception and child bearing.
the Next stage – the stage of the compromise starts after a serious conflict, which leads the spouses to the probability of the final gap. The fear of losing each other forces us to make concessions. The joint efforts of the important decisions concerning the responsibilities, rights and roles. Unsuccessful attempts to recreate parent family finally left. Starts the construction of its own, truly a new family. And top of all this is a joint desire to have children, as well as activities aimed at achieving this goal. For parents, the child is a value in itself, not a means of manipulation, allowing to solve personal problems. And of course, this is a favorable stage for conception.
There are five stages of the family cycle family, but for our question of interest only: Holon married Mature stage, the stage of experimentation with independence, stage of the Renaissance. And with very few exceptions, when parents began at a very early age is the stage of "empty nest". Among them are undesirable stage for conception and favorable. In addition, there are different characteristics, for example, when a second marriage. Or when the family already has an older child, or a family with spouses of different nationalities, etc.
to Describe all these stages with their characteristics, objectives and ways out of the crisis, this article just does not happen. But to help answer such questions as:
At what stage to be your family? Why now there was a desire to have a child? What is the limiting, unconscious factor to a successful conception? What does it mean for families the birth of a baby? How to strengthen partnerships? As faster and smoother to go through family crises? etc.
these and many other questions I will help you to respond to individual or family counseling.