"I don't know what I want!" the natural state of a small child.
Often see adults trying to find the crying baby what he wants, what he doesn't like. Some do it quietly and kindly, others can not stand the nerves and the baby receives the next portion of battle, or a slap on the soft spot.
"He doesn't know what he needs!" with irritation, say "come down to the handle" mother or father. And indeed, in some cases, the baby doesn't know. br>
the Little man feels that something is wrong, feels that it is necessary, but what he himself may be unaware of, and therefore can not say. br>
the Ability to recognize their feelings, needs, motives is not innate. It is formed gradually. How well is the child, and then adult people to be "advanced" in that is largely dependent on mom and dad.
a Newborn does not have the ability to distinguish anything. He not only is aware of himself as separate from his mother's being, he can not even distinguish one sensation from another.
Even the anxiety is perceived as something uncertain. Feelings not divided and do not differ from each other. There is one big painful condition which is felt throughout the body.
And here in this messy, tangled chaos a caring person, usually the mother, in whose duty is the satisfaction of overwhelming baby needs. And only attention to the desires of a frustrated child can turn frightening, unbearable tension in the satisfaction and joy.
Calm and appropriate response of the mother to Express the child's anxiety gradually teaches him that anxiety is the source and, more importantly, there is someone who you can trust and who will come to help.
Attentive mother to the demands of a baby, gradually allow it to develop a methodology for the recognition of their feelings: it is a hunger, fatigue, it's thirsty, but now I'm cold, and so on.
And later, when adult in the process of communication with the child will describe his condition, the little man will learn to recognize emotions and feelings. "I see that you're angry. You were so angry that even fists clenched. Are you upset that I didn't give you candy? I can give you an Apple or a pear...."
Talking in this way the parent helps the child to establish a link between their condition and the word designating it. "You're probably tired, that was naughty. Let's go to bed".
after some time the child will be able to Express your feelings, yelling, tears, destructive actions, and words. He will say: "Mom I'm tired, I wanna sleep" or "I'm mad at you because...". And it's great. Children learn verbal way to communicate their needs and feelings, be available for conversation and argumentation. When this skill is not — tears, screaming, destructive actions are the only way expression of his condition and the statements about their needs.
the Wise mother grandmother and even dad and grandpa, interacting with a toddler constantly saying, "Well, what are you crying, little dry? Here's the water, sweetheart. Okay? Smiled. Good then!". This strange monologue is called "commenting speech". Thanks to her, the child accumulates a stock of words to indicate their status. Gradually added words denoting emotions, feelings, and speech structure for the description of needs and motives.
in this way, adults help the child to move towards awareness and understanding of himself, and after that - the understanding of others. The ability to verbalize their feelings, needs and motivations, understand the feelings, needs and motives of other people is an important component of emotional intelligence.
Turcan (Savinova) Svetlana
Статья выложена в ознакомительных целях. Все права на текст принадлежат ресурсу и/или автору (B17 B17)