There is a very fine line in relations between two people: support and shifting of responsibility. I'll try to explain where this line lies.

Independent adult people should not need anyone's support. This rule of growth. Relations with such a person will be easy. He will not ask you to pay the loan, to Wake up in the morning, to feed, to clean his linen, to follow cat... By and large, he did not need it, he copes with all its tasks.

the Question arises, why, then, do we need relationships? Here I depart from the lyrics and not going to talk about love. Relations are necessary in this case to make it easier, simpler and faster to come to order. Between the two adults psychologically there is no place of pain, criticism, insult, devaluation and humiliation. It's all about growing together!

each of us has fears, beliefs, limitations, taboo. Alone all of them can be overcome, no question. But how wonderful to do this together, helping each other on the way. When you're finished, the partner takes the hand. Hugs, maybe even regret)) In measure, all of us need it. And you get up, find the resource, you know that there are loving people who won't leave, but not to carry.

Example:

my Husband was fired from his job. It's stress, collapse, loss of strength and faith in yourself. It is foolish to believe that he would smile and just come out for a new job. For starters, he will need to accept the circumstances, not afraid of the future, not to fall into a state of devaluation... And the wife at this point should (can! and maybe not..) to support it.

passing the buck
wife comes and pities her husband, pats on the head trying to feed everyone. Simultaneously search for him a job, throws declarations, agrees with the familiar.

Support:
the wife says that he believes in her man. Supports his mood, whatever it was (several days!). Cuts costs, but does not start anymore. Discusses with her husband his fears and, if necessary, helps him to restore the resource.
Generally, he can handle himself)

But, agree, it is nice to cope, when I'm sure that someone waits, loves and believes in you. Does not interfere and does not help. And just next emotionally and physically.

do you know how to ask for help from a partner?