the Antonov Carolina
Psychosomatics is an urgent problem of our time, but whether it is relevant for us personally depends not only on the amount of stress in our lives, but also on individual characteristics.
What are the qualities of our personality put us at risk?
1.Alexithymia is a difficulty with understanding and expression through the speech of its emotional state. Is most often caused by the prohibition of parents to the manifestation of certain emotions. For example, if a child is punished for any manifestation of rage and anger, over time it loses contact with that part of my personality. Or, if parents wish to see that the only child was afraid of them, then in adulthood, all his senses will be reduced to different fears and phobias. Alexithymic often can't tell what they feel or they say, "I think... (that is, in any case, feelings in the head). Do not like to discuss feelings, as they are difficult.
2.Normativity. When we too follow all the rules, templates, standards. It all starts with parents, "Normal girl (boy) has (have)......". There is even a term psychosomatic parents. A classic of the genre: a military dad, mother teacher. But generally, it is any "right" parents who know how to live. Growing up, we also begin to excessively adhere to the "correct" patterns and schemes.
3.Infantilism. Children's thinking style. It is that we divide everything into black and white (so called polarity); we are self-centered (and I think only talking about myself), believe in fairytales (magic thinking) and difficulties with setting goals and planning.
4.Rigidity – problems with the switch getting stuck on situations that have already ended.
5.Problematic self-esteem. Not necessarily that she's always underestimated, but she is unstable, that is, it is easy to shake, for example, other people's criticisms.
6.Intrapersonal conflict. When we have a gap between what we want and what we need. He is growing, if we repeatedly ignore our interests and tune out someone, playing by someone else's rules.
If you recognize yourself or family in a painted portrait, or saw the individual traits, the question arises what to do with it.
The good news is that if we are able to recognize the data features, it is a very good forecast. Classic psychosomatic usually not aware of what is happening and it's hard to take responsibility. If we are willing to act - if not all, a lot exactly in our hands.
- Alexithymia can be overcome through psychotherapy and emotional intelligence. The latter can be developed through group work, attending relevant trainings, or individual. You can start with reading books about emotional intelligence, such as Daniel Golman. At the household level should train in the pronunciation of the feelings, if this hard situation, you can first try to do it after.
- One of the ways of dealing with normativity is a violation of the rules. This does not mean that we are talking about breaking the law, but occasionally afford to be late, prepare for something more casually afford to be lazy – don't ruin your life, and give to understand that it continues even if you fail to comply with all standards.
- to Deal with the rigidity helps a great way to try something new: elementary new food, new way home, Hey, it's all fine!
- In the infantile is the most dangerous is the division into black and white. Does the work fast, but overall it's about acceptance. About making people different, and not perfect. But first and foremost about self-acceptance, as accepting ourselves, we and other make start.
- the problem With self-esteem, in my opinion, helps art therapy. At the household level, Hobbies, favorite classes and the success it raises self-esteem.
- with regard to intrapersonal conflict, if you understand and acknowledge his presence, but do nothing about it for many years - then it's still a way through therapy, through an appeal to the psychologist.
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