the

 Read part 1 of the article on WHEN to start going to DS 
https://www.b17.ru/article/138225/
 Read the 2 part article on how to CHOOSE the DS 
https://www.b17.ru/article/139465/
 Read the 3 part article about WHAT you need to adapt to the DS br>https://www.b17.ru/article/144283/
 Read the 4 part article on WHAT to DO BEFORE the release in the DS 
https://www.b17.ru/article/144492/

And in this part of the article we'll talk about how you can help your child in the first weeks exploring the garden. 

 to understand how to pass the first days of a child in DS, remember the theory of teaching. After all, adaptation – this is teaching a child new rules and norms accepted in DS. So: 

Step 1. The master does, the disciple looks. 
Step 2. The master does, the disciple helps. 
Step 3. The master does, the student makes with him. 
Step 4. The pupil makes, Wizard. 
Step 5. The disciple does the Master looks. 

 Only after going through all5stages, the student (child), willing to do anything on their own. 

it Remains to solve the riddle of who you are. A key feature of the Wizard is not the knowledge of the subject, and the degree of affection of the pupil. Because without attachment, knowledge is not transmitted. Attachment – that is “tube”, the bond that allows us to gain knowledge and skills from other people. 

Morality: initially, by the Master is the mom (or dad, or other “your adult”). The teacher of the kindergarten are just starting to build this contact, this affection. And after some time (every child and teacher – his own), the teacher will be able to perform the function of Master and the mother – trust the child's teacher. 

 experienced technical measures for the adaptation of the child to the DS look like this: 

 Step 1. Mom leads a child in DS for 1-2 hours and is with him in the group.

Mom introduces the child to the teacher. The mother of all shows, talks, explains the rules and so. Mom sits with the baby and doing everything with him. 

 Timing: a few days (the younger the child – the longer) 

 Step 2. Mother gradually reduces its participation in the child's life in DC, passing the initiative to the teacher. 

Important: do NOT other children! Teacher! The safety of the child can only provide your an adult! Your goal – to make the teacher “adult”, not to make friends with a child with Kate and Pete! 

In the first month or two focus your attention on the teacher. If the child will feel safe and will have a trusted relationship with the teacher, Katia, and Peter, he will make friends without your help. On the other hand, no Kate, no Peter does not provide child support if “my grown” in DS it did not find it. 

the Child builds relationships with the teacher, seeing your attitude to the teacher. The teacher builds a relationship with the child through you.

 read More about it I already wrote in the article about the nanny
https://www.b17.ru/article/137136/

Read, there is a lot of thought applies to the teachers in DS and BUILD your relationship with your teachers if you want your child well. 

Passing the initiative to the teacher, the mother is gradually moved first into the far corner of the group and out of contact with the child in reading books, then, after agreeing with the child and the teacher goes to sit in the locker room, then (again by prior arrangement) – goes to the store (or wherever you need). 

 it is Important to continue to observe a small number of hours (2-3), go in advance or at least on time, often to bring the child leaves, flowers-pebbles-treats and stories about how you thought about it and was bored. 

 How to help your child survive the separation, well-written article O. Turkina “a Thousand and one ways to block the division” https://vk.com/wall-149132003_48 

 Timing 2 step – from a few weeks to several months, if the child is very small and not ready for DS. Yes, sounds scary, I know, but better slowly but surely than to run forward, to psychological trauma and a nervous breakdown, and then for many years to deal with the consequences for all involved. 

Evidence that you can go to the next level – this is a stable, calm and balanced wellbeing of the child ‘here and now”! 

 When difficulties arise it is better to seek individual advice. Including if you need to “faster”, if your DS does not permit soft adaptation, etc. 

 Step 3. Gradually increase the number of hours the child spends in DS. 

Often parents make the mistake of trying to increase the number of hours on 1 or 2 step. Because of this, the child goes to a breakdown and regresses to adapt. Increase the number of hours gradually, according is not only a teacher, but explaining the situation to the child in advance! 

Tell me, what new actions in the garden have a child in connection with the increase of time. Explain what rituals and rules associated with these actions. Say, after what event you come to pick it up. 

 Timing: usually 1-2 months. However, again remember that the age of 2.5 years and traumatic personal history can greatly change these numbers. 

 caution! If you put the timings of the first 3 steps, but in the most wonderful case you get 2 months. In "realistic" - 3.
In a normal - up to six months.

Therefore, dear mother, begin to drive the child in DS at least 2-3 months before going to work! Do not try to the last to sit with him at home! It is better to start gentle adaptation than literally "throw the bird out of the nest".

 Step 4. Child already goes to DS for a full day, but he did not long survive such a load.

the child is not started "to go to the disease" for a peaceful home stay, it is better to give the baby once a week just to stay at home/with grandma/someone else from the “adult”. 

You can do this on a regular basis or upon request of the child in the given bounds (e.g., 1 time per week on a specific day).

Some parents think that this “freedom” will hurt the future of the discipline in the school, but it is not. When used properly, these “weekends on request" form the child's personal responsibility, the ability to listen to your body and taking care of it. 

If you are unable to provide your child a rest among the working week, be sure to unload the weekend and make them for toddler maximum of “homemade” and “lazy”, no running in the hotel and shops. Try to stay with the child in his “lazy” mode: to play, to talk, to read, to hug and to take care of.

 of Course, it is important not to let your child mugs and sections. Especially in the first year and a half after the beginning of the visit DS.

 Timing: up to 7 years :) 

 PS About “lazy” weekend at five-day working week: 

I'm not a supporter of the idea that a woman needs to be an all-powerful cyborg, and time to do things (to work, to farm, take care of children and husband, to have friends and Hobbies, and look to always be in a good mood). 

I know the history of the development of a society that says that never before has a woman raising children alone. Therefore, I believe that it is important to involve all available resources, including DAD, relatives, friends, government and non-governmental institutions and even (about horror!) the AU pair and nannies! 

 About the last and very important people to me wrote a series of 2 articles, which starts here https://www.b17.ru/article/137136/


 P. P. S. About the garden: 

I know we live in an imperfect world where there are lots of families hostile to the DS, which was not allowed by the parents even on the threshold, not to mention to tolerate their presence in the group during the adaptation of the child. 

However, I wrote an article about CHOOSING DS https://www.b17.ru/article/139465/ and hope that parents will begin to choose the garden actively, not passively, as it were. And will be interested in the essence of what is happening with the child in the group and relationships of teachers with children, not the appearance of a garden, the maintenance quality and beauty of the Playground. 

And most importantly - I believe in the art of communication to their readers and in your ability to negotiate with the administration of the DS at the desired conditions. And in your wisdom to adapt themselves and prepare the child, if existing in DS practice of adaptation can not be changed. 

As usual, thank you for reading, come to the consultation and generally support my work 

thank Irina for reviewing this series! You made it mundane, more specific and more useful! 

I'm happy to answer questions, feedback and suggestions in the comments  


2019-06-17
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