Preteen. 10-14 years.


Adolescence has several stages. Children do not immediately tumble in puberty.
First there's a bright manifestation of which is the rapid motor activity. Children literally hard to sit still. And there are some braking mechanisms. The child, as if you don't hear. This work of his defense, which to this period was formed and keep some tension in the psyche. 
Wakes up sexy but not conscious. Children can be shy, but curious. As far as trusting relationships in the family? Can a parent openly talk with your child on various topics. In General, how the parent understands what is going on with his kid. Some adults forget what it's like to be a teenager. 

it is Very important to inform children on matters of mutual interest, relations. 
the Children of this stage is characteristic of fantasy. And fantasies can lead not only in a positive way. The task of parents to anticipate the imagination or rethink towards adequate perception of oneself and others. It comes to the body and relationships with others. Show their reactions, feelings to something that is acceptable for situation form. Without exaggeration or wrap feelings of guilt. 

For Teens a very important message, what you invest into fellowship with him. They do not hear the words. If a teenager feels that it's bad, or do not accept him as he is, he seems to be adapting to this attitude. It's easier for him, you dumped him negative. The child feels that this attitude and it genuinely. It facilitates the discharged atmosphere. So some easier to experience the wave and continue to abide in his condition. This is how to be afraid to come to the Board and probably would have slapped a few and you can relax. Or example: “I am stupid” - says the guy. What is it? It's like he's already appreciated, and asked me a promise. Usual for him to be left behind. 
in General, this behavior pattern is strongly enshrined in our families. We reinforce bad behavior instead of good. We often focus on the bad. Do something, don't do it. I will do it for you, still can not cope. We would not allow the person to adjust and decide how it is more convenient and better. And very little praise. This is a series of self-assessment. Backlog in this period is important for the formation and development of the capacity for self-regulation, self-discipline. 

what is to be done to comply with the rules in the family? And how to cultivate responsibility in Teens? There are no universal rules. Every family has its own conditions. I'm all for mutual respect. 
If the family has enough respect to each other and the child is not ready to take responsibility for their behavior, to force the child to obey the rules is not easy. Often the teenager that just learns to get around the system rules to avoid being caught, and Dodge and so on. And yet the meaning clearly define the rules there. 
A psychologists suggest to prescribe rules. Discuss and record with your child of the rule. To justify those moments that are important to you and why. 
decide on how to proceed in cases of dispute and for whom the last word. 
it is Important not to forget about the whim and pleasure on both sides. 
failure to comply With the rules, come up with sanctions. This item should be made with the child. Often use the reception of ‘Imagine yourself in my place”: “What would you do if you were a parent? How would you have behaved in this situation? What is the punishment applied?» 
the Next phase coherence of rules, joint reading. 
And amusing point - it is a rule for parent. You ask, what's not to like teenager on your part. And negotiate rules with your position. For example: don't touch his stuff, not to enter without knocking
teenagers Have a meticulous, there are those who show their attitude through things and objects around. Sometimes you can get populyarnym way. When the child is given a choice, responsibility for his actions,where it is feasible and wash hands. Where it is possible to connect the humor. Write notes in unexpected places with arrows. Look at the situation through the eyes of a child. In any case, the parent is the support. And we must remember this. Even in moments of despair and incomprehension. 
After the execution of the duties of praise. Keep the desire for independence. Focus on the best in the child's behavior. 
These small moments in understanding your child will help you enter into adolescence less painful.
the Text is of a preventive nature.


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