the

Today is not written. 

it is Difficult to show its shadow side, however, as without it?

I could not define their specialization, probably just now approached her.

I'm interested in the topic of couple relationships and the family. My attention often dives into the topic of parent-child relationships and parenting in General. Relationship with ourselves.

What I know about relationships?
I Know that if I something don't understand myself, and Another I can't explain what I want and to understand what the Other wants. How I treat myself, the same attitude to others. If you do not accept something in yourself, in others recognize these traits in the first place as to the saying "about the beam in another's eye and the speck in his." 
step by Step meeting the truth about myself, I discovered things that maybe I would not like myself to know I wasn't easy to part with a cute heart with illusions and ideas about marriage, family, parenting. I'm often in the husband saw hesitation and I was vybeshivaet its ability to accumulate unfinished business. It took me a lot of time and effort to recognize that these qualities are present also in me. In the son I quickly was able to guess his wishes, wasiwasi in his need, like that joke "Mom I'm cold? "No, you're hungry".
With the beginning of therapy, I felt not happy in the relationship. I wanted to change the nature of the relationship. Experience to confess to the partner about your condition and offer to talk about what both of us are not satisfied in the relationship,  I was “blood”. The ability to articulate out loud their expectations directly, openly and “face” came the years. Experience to stay in contact (not run mad in the other room, silently choking on tears) to speak about their experiences and needs, for me, was very heavy for several years. I often expected her husband's support, care (as little girl) is not immediately realizing his “holes”, formed as a result of communication with the father. And not always my deficits in the support, the care and love I could fill with parents and relatives. The ability to accept yourself, which is so often heard and read, did not come immediately. And now I have your recipe of making myself
when rapidly "rushing the wagon" covers the thoughts and anxiety I have learned to "pull on the handle" and to say to yourself:
-I - done!
-I did it!
-I'm with you!
-I am good!
-How good I am!

it became easier to breathe and to keep moving towards their goals that seemed unattainable to me.

What I learned in the relationship?
to See the partner of the other person, not my idea of it.
to Understand what changes in a pair of starts, only when efforts to make changes both.
Recognize the toxicity in relationships and "overcoming toxins," but not to absorb.
to Talk about expectations and look for a way out of deadlock situations.
to Understand my sense of propriety as allowing myself to stay where I want and to find their place.
Allow yourself to notice and see people around that I can turn to for support.
Recognize your jealousy as a compass that helps to become aware of their deficits. 
Allow yourself to be worthy for the best.
take Care not only of family, but also about yourself.
growing up means to take responsibility for their elections,  to see obstacles in achieving their goals and to overcome them, based on its experience, instincts, needs.
to Trust yourself and allow yourself to make choices means get up and leave when you do not want to sit and "eat rice with raisins at the funeral." 
Experience of getting out of toxic relationships with all the consequences of divorce and move on. Not to knock insistently in "closed doors" for many years. Survive the loss of a relationship and speak with his son about his parents ' divorce.

what come to me?
Ethics does not allow me to open the client history, so I'll describe the phenomena suggested to me. Me coming here more often women than men, which it is important to change the quality of their relationships to themselves and to loved ones.  Who are afraid/ashamed/feel guilty and insecure about our choices, desires. At first they think I know the answers to their questions. And I think that these responses have with them, is only to choose the right "key" (to focus attention), and then, opening the "doors" in the awareness and reviewing the experience gained in the relationship, they find the solution in relationships with parents, partners, children. When we are able to review, relive a painful experience, then comes relief/ humility/ acceptance. And then it allows customers to see their role in what is happening, to understand what they really want and try step by step to meet the changes, to build a quality relationship that brings pleasure and understanding.

I'm curious to seek answers to the following questions:
-How to build a relationship and who should do it and with whom, and start is not necessary?
-How to understand the relationship that the "dead horse" and what to do with it (in a relationship)?
-How to get out of toxic relationships and to recover their resources to a new relationship?
-How to be a good enough parent to your child, when there is a claim to their parents and tend to himself?
-How not to be a parent to your partner?
-How to understand what your child enough support and he can cope with new experiences?
-How to recognize depression and to meet their needs without this symptom?
-How to overcome the shame and to see it as a huge resource for real (sincere) relationship?

This is a topic that I find interesting and would like to know, what's interesting to You?




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