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for anybody not a secret that relations between people are of great value. We value our relationships, we try to protect them. For an adult the ability to find a mate and establish a close, trusting relationship is an indicator of his psychological maturity.

the Need in a relationship is one of the main, along with physiological needs, need for security. Thus, a close relationship is risky! Than confidential relationship as a couple, the closer we are to each other, the weaker we become in front of a partner. The paradox is to pair them we need trust and openness to the partner, but in such a relationship, we become extremely vulnerable, may be more and more offended, longer are experiencing strife and conflict. Even accidental hurt caused by loved ones, remembered and experienced more than the conflict with the lesser person.

We learn to establish emotionally close relationships in early childhood and to determine how well we are able to do, only what we do our relationship as a couple, with parents and other relatives if we have close friends. In all of these situations we establish close and meaningful relationships especially.

naturally, the gap and separation in close relationships difficult are experienced. The decision about the separation and the termination of relations is taken at the level of feelings. Often this decision may seem strange, but it becomes a bad teammate, we cease to be bored and in need of this man, when he's not around, we are not interested in what was happening to him, what he thinks, there is no need for physical and sexual contact with him.

At parting we cease to rely on partner, and therefore, the gap can be experienced as the loss of illusion, the dream of the perfect relationship of the project to share a life together. In predrassvetniy situation, it often happens that after the resolution of another conflict is the reconciliation of the spouses. Then can come the understanding of what is really going on: no love, no desire to be together, not interested in sex with a partner. It turns out that even when paired, we can be quite change and then there is the realization that: "the person that I am today, would never have chosen her (his) partner".

From this point on the emotional disintegration of a pair. Then comes the process of sexual and territorial separation, after which a decision is made to divorce or termination of cohabitation. Separation is a choice, making a choice, we win what we choose and definitely lose something. In couples experiencing difficulty in relationships, often seen setting: "I want to change, but I don't want to lose." Joint life is a process of changing relationships and the acquisition of experience. As it is impossible to step twice into the same river, so it is impossible to remain as in love and began a relationship.

the Couple breaks up, when one of the partners, or both, don't see a future together and believe that it is better to endure the pain of a breakup than to continue a life together. If we be accused of breaking another, sooner or later will come to the only possible conclusion: "I'm right! But still I lost." Therefore, it is necessary to abandon the position that to blame the other and to see the complexities of relationships, to assess their strengths and weaknesses and also to perform of the partner. Only evaluate the individual contribution to the rupture of relations can be assumed that with a new partner, a new relationship will not repeat the old mistakes.

Leo Starostin identifies the following characteristics of partners in successful marriages:

psychological and emotional maturity;

- perseverance, tolerance, a sense of humor.

- interest in people, kindness;

mutual attraction

- joint active rest in free time;

- the voluntary distribution of roles and responsibilities;

- a successful marriage of the parents.

Relationship as a couple developed according to certain rules. If from childhood we made a positive family and parental relationship, then it is much easier to create a couple and to build a long lasting relationship. If at some point the partners decide that separation is the best way out of conflict and misunderstanding, we should bear in mind that ending a relationship is a long process and painful. In some cases, former spouses takes years to relive the hurt and pain associated with divorce.

based On the book by H. Bucy.

All (not) finished.

2012-12-17
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