Why do some people constantly, are depressed , suffer, torture yourself?
Many of these people, does not suffer from objective reasons - they want to suffer !
It does not suffering when you do something wrong, no, this suffering is "for no reason", the constant presence of the reasons for suffering - and as you know, the one who searches will always find.
Often, these people carry this "burden" from childhood, and therefore, the skill of finding reasons for suffering than ever before, and better. No matter how good his suffering is not when to stop - he was so familiar.
as Usual? - Yes, it's his comfort zone , his safe Harbor - is it good for him ? Definitely not, but every time he as the ship arrives at the port of her registry - it was his habit and necessity at the same time, it is his quiet haven. There is a very interesting fact - people born in town, lived all his life in the city noise once in the forest or field for a long time, begins to feel discomfort and sometimes panic.
So our "sufferer" - perhaps his childhood did not like, was beaten , humiliated , he had heard were hiding from the constant COP in the family, experiencing these negative aspects again and again. And now in adult life, this suffering has become a norm.
we Can say that he is good because he was bad - a paradox?
there is No pattern - it's his usual comfort zone( even though it is not comfortable).
we're All afraid of something new, unfamiliar, unusual, and so I try to avoid this - if the suffering of the familiar, the peace and tranquility turns into an unknown and frightening.
And naturally, the "sufferer" will avoid situations when he is well, pleasantly, calmly - for it is abnormal and unusual , and he immediately finds a reason to suffer ( and as already mentioned it is full). And if he fails , he will feel panic attacks, anxiety , anxiety , will to survive and perhaps to behave very unpredictable.
So how do these people live?
it's very simple, they do not go out of the comfort zone - they are:
- On to what happened in childhood,
- what might happen.
- Provoke suffering in everyday life . Provoking children, partner , friends and loved ones in the conflict and therefore further suffering, from the fact that all around bad.
- And also to the heap can engage in self-flagellation ( and reasons abound here).
the Mechanism of life of such people is quite clear - What to do?
In my experience some ( the exception) yourself, you begin to notice and monitor these conditions "drawdown" in the area of suffering , a difficult chore, but it is possible , then create other comfort zone. Others need help ( friends , relatives, family, professionals ) , support and understanding , and of course the awareness and the desire to overcome.
sincerely Basketin Eugene.