Psychology for parents, and age crises of children


With such a problem faced by almost all parents: a calm and obedient child suddenly turns into a stubborn and intractable. Parents ask themselves: what is it? It turns out that the entire blame for the crises of development through which every child. All age crises (except for the crisis of a newborn) are characterized by some common features: the children become cranky, irritable, often in conflict with parents and caregivers, categorically refuse to comply with adults.

the Development of the child at all age levels is characterized by the desire for independence. The child throughout his development is looking for answers to the questions: "Who am I?" and "What can I do?" The crisis comes from the fact that the child have new aspirations and desires, to realize that the old tried and tested methods fail. Thus, crisis is a necessary stage in the life of every child, leading to a new round of development.

the Task of parents is to help the child positively overcome each crisis, and then their child will grow up to become independent and enterprising man. On the contrary, if to suppress the desire of children to new discoveries, often and severely punish them and scold, then in adulthood they will be accompanied by self-doubt and guilt.

Now look at each crisis of child development.

the First critical period of development of the child is the crisis of the newborn that occurs due to the rupture of biological symbiosis with the mother. The child first feels the cold and hunger, he sees a bright light. He is absolutely helpless, he was uncomfortable in the new world.

How can I help? to Be near him, to hold him, to feel the warmth of Your body, hear Your heartbeat, familiar to him from intrauterine life.

the Second critical period of development is the crisis of the first year of life, which is associated with the rupture of psychological symbiosis with the mother. The child tries to walk, his first words, he plays with caught him by the arm objects. This crisis is characterized by negative emotional expressions of the child, arising in response to the constraint of their autonomy when it is fed or dressed against his will.

How can I help? Let the child learn of the world, grant him the ability to manipulate different (safe) objects to watch what You are doing.

the Next critical period of development is the crisis of three years. The children will put their "I", so he tries to oppose an adult. He not only meets the requirements of the parents, but strives to do the opposite. During this period the child's behavior can wear protests. The child insists on their demands, trying to achieve her at any cost, even through tantrums.

How can I help? First of all, control your emotions, do not yell at the child in response to his tantrums and protests. Try to stay calm in any situation. Often talk to your child, tell him about the rules that must be followed and explain why this should be done. Do not give your child negative characteristics: greedy, mean spirited, cocky, etc. Offer him a choice. For example, where to go for a walk in the yard or in the Park. Allow him to do what he can do.

the Following critical development period is the crisis seven years, which is characterized by the emergence of the personal consciousness and coincides with the receipt to the first class. During this period major changes occur in the emotional sphere of the child. Outwardly it may appear as grimacing, mannerisms, disobedience. What is the reason? If preschooler saw themselves primarily as a physically separate individual, then for seven years he realizes his psychological autonomy, have the inner world of feelings and experiences.

How can I help? At this stage the child is actively shaping self-esteem. The chain of failures in education and communication could adversely affect its development. Therefore, in this period the child is never required psychological support from the parents. The child must feel that he still love in spite of school difficulties. It is very important to praise your child for all of his successes, even the smallest, in any case not to shame him.

the Period of "storm and stress" the crisis of adolescence is characterized by the tendency of the child to adulthood on the one hand, and the inability to take an adult position with another. A teenager protests against the control of the parents, requires that with him were considered, and treated him like an adult. It can painful to perceive the inconsistency. The use of alcohol, Smoking in this age is the method to seem for adults.

How can I help? Communicate with your child from a position of "equal". Explain to him that adults have not only rights but also responsibilities. Don't criticize him, don't make him questioning. Try every day to find the time to communicate with your child. Tell him more about his school days, about what You felt when you were like him.

And most importantly – always, since the birth of the child, tell him that You love him. Accept your child as he is, tolerant of his failures. And then Your child will grow up to become independent and self-sufficient man.

Статья выложена в ознакомительных целях. Все права на текст принадлежат ресурсу и/или автору (B17 B17)

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