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We are so different - men and women... many of us Have accumulated so much misunderstanding, we are offended, argue, go alone... But really we all want one thing - to love and be loved.

today, after four years of marriage, only 10% of families are happy that they are together. The rest are either divorced, or continue to live in marriage, but I feel dissatisfied with these relationships. If we most want to love why the unprecedented growing number of divorces, single parents, in the cities crowded many feel lonely? Maybe we are looking for a love not there and not right?

anyway, there comes a time when we begin to feel an acute need. The person with whom we can share their successes and their sorrows, when you come home, you know, there we wait and love, who will support us and will understand ... of Course, we can many more to list wonderful, giving presence of the loved one near. But how and where to look, what to take steps that would help us to help you find this person? We will try to understand this is not a simple problem of human relations. This article will explore a number of reasons which lead us to a state of loneliness, if not physical, then definitely mental.

One of the serious causes of disappointments in relationships and need to search for their mate is that too many people believe that they know best what they needed, what type of person suits them the most. Let me ask you a question, and answer it yourself. Tell me, you were taught how to look for the type of people that fits you? Perhaps you were taught this in high school or in higher where to look for them and how these people have to build a relationship full of love and harmony? And maybe parents patiently and every day with you talking about it? If to these questions you answered "no", then why did you decide that you understand this question? You've heard that knowledge themselves in the head climbed without effort in the classroom or to the salary brought home, without going to work? Then why are so many people that were successful has achieved in their profession or studies significant progress when it comes to their personal life, can you believe that we need familiarity to start up by itself without any of their efforts. That is why we see so many people who succeed on the job, but not satisfied with his personal life.

Look at how parents are teaching their baby to walk: they use a variety of support devices are from them will not step away, and without bruises and cones is not complete. And then a man falls into a whirlpool of relations of different genders with their personalities, principles, approaches to life and stuff... In this "vortex" without insurance, on the naked nerve, any error leaves wounds on the skin, which quickly heals the heart. Often in trying to understand all these complex issues of relationships we are left alone with a teacher by the name of Life. But this teacher with his students, complete sometimes not very merciful.

Another serious problem is the formation of a distorted image of the opposite sex. Where we receive knowledge of who we need and how we will live... Right from the movies and books in the fantasy genre, but the books are not read, more "kinushki" look, and, perhaps, flip through glossy magazines. And in these movies brutal men: strong, courageous, rich. Female goddess, descended from Olympus, charming, gentle, talented. These images are fixed in our brain, and we walk the streets, rummage eyes, looking for something similar, and angrily tambourine himself: "Not, not, not again".

an Overwhelming number of people in the world in their appearance are classified as "medium", everything else is photoshop and the wonders of makeup. Psychologists conducted a study whose purpose was to learn how the appearance of actors and models affect the perception of ordinary members of the opposite sex. Young people, boys and girls, were asked to meet members of the opposite sex and appreciate their appearance. And boys and girls were divided into two groups, one control, the other experimental. Control groups immediately showed the opposite sex of average looking and experimental groups previously showed films and gave to look magazine, which has been shown or depicted very attractive actors, Actresses and centerfolds.

So, in the control groups the average guest appearance was assessed as sufficiently attractive in the 65%-70%, and in experimental only 40% -45%. Now you know how much we are affected by the imposed on us false images of workers of the film industry and media.

And how many people their appearance compares with the edited appearance models. That's how much of the mono complexes to weigh nothing better to do...

Next, the reason why we rarely left alone, as is suggested by false expectations. Remember how often we say: "don't worry, the time will come when there is a person, all will be well." They probably think that love is like time of year, want want still come. And how many people that really believe. How cool to lie on the couch and not just lie, lie down, chew, watch TV and all that believe! Beauty, trust and peer at the clock. Oh, Yes, we do not say how many hours it, love will come... Then glancing at the window, listen to the call at the door.

How long you been waiting? How many plan to wait? Of course, each of us knows a couple of other examples, when someone from friends, acquaintances, or else there who do accidentally opened the wrong door, I called, expecting that will Bob, but it turned out Olga, their eyes met, hearts pounded, and was born the love. It is such a Fluke and support the old myth that all by itself is formed. Alas, the reality is much more complicated and requires your active participation in creating their own Destiny.

No less significant is the fact that we even ourselves are afraid to admit that alone, not to mention the fact to tell your friends. Often in life we hear such an ordinary phrase, "Yes, why do I need these guys, I have enough problems!", "What do I with these women to do?". Does anyone of you really believes that having a close person is a shameful desire? Moreover, who says it's pathetic, and unconvincing. But sympathy, such people did not cause. But you have to remember one regret – that I do not respect. It's the law.

Never deny the obvious. On the contrary, everyone should know that you are looking for a couple, then friends and acquaintances in their environment can find someone who you can really be interested in. At least this will definitely increase your chances, and we want the probability played on our side.

In the following articles we will continue to consider the problems that arise in relationships between men and women, but for now let's summarize the first part of our meeting.

First. The problem really exists and it's very common. So close eye on it in any case impossible.

Second. To understand the problem, needs specific knowledge, without them, as in the desert without water – wahnam before getting out.

Third. Often, unconsciously imposed upon us a type of cinema and media, prevents to consider for a colorful tinsel of a man who is very close to us or themselves underestimate their attractiveness to other people.

Fourth. "While we are postponing life speeds by." Don't wait for chances, make their own efforts to find their second halves.

Fifth. Do not hesitate to admit that you are at the moment looking for a mate. It is not a diagnosis – it is a temporary condition.

2011-11-24
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