a man Comes on reception to the therapist, saying,

"Doctor, I'm depressed..." - "You Have depression..."

"I'm very bad!" - "You are very bad..."

"I'll jump out the window!" "You'll jump out the window..."

the Man gets up and jumps. Doctor: "BAM!"

You've already read my article "Rapport with him. Theory and practice"? Now we know more about how to establish the same as with other people. Agree, this is a must! In the family, at work, with friends. Needless to say that in psychology, rapport is a mandatory element of effective work!

let me Remind you that the word "rapport" means harmony, trust, mutual understanding, when you are "on the same wavelength", in unison. Also: interest, tender participation, openness, receptivity, betterest. When people are in rapport, they form a network, becoming as one entity. About like a flock of birds or a school of fish that move perfectly in sync! Or as a couple, performing a dance!

Area of application is the widest.

I, as a relationship expert, I would like You to often practiced rapport with the strong half of humanity, with her man to Your couple peace and love...

the rule is to use your knowledge and skills for manipulation and personal gain, but solely for the benefit of both parties!

I know that people love stories, and I, as usual, there is one suitable for You.

I Once saw a program on TV about how to save "five minutes to suicide". The rescuer knew what to wear is the one who is going to jump off the roof of a multistory building (let's call him "jumper"). Uzbeka the stairs towards him, he hurriedly took off his jacket and remained in a t-shirt to be as similar to jumper.

Then a squad walked quietly to the edge of the roof, took the same pose and spoke. And when jumper was talking, squad changed position and moved away from the edge, and jumper hurried to repeat after him.

In the end, all ended well, and I said to myself that the skills of practical psychology to would be extremely helpful and very interesting!

why did I tell this story?

first to move to the forms of rapport.

second, to emphasize the point: first, adjust, then conduct.

Imagine that You want something from a man. If You go to him and in the forehead will require You will be denied. If first connect to the person and then bring with them the probability is higher. Talking about it provides an example to the lifeguard he did not go to shout: "don't jump!".

so, You can see that rapport, you can enter "zerkala" or imitating the clothes, the pose, etc.

In this article I will give a complete classification of rapport, but only write the most practical things that You can easily implement without having to learn additional material. All for You, my dear sloths and leniviy! =)

Let's list what you can make "adjustment":

  • Physiology (posture, gestures)
  • Breathing (rhythm, amplitude)
  • Voice (volume, rhythm)
  • Language and way of thinking (the designated leading channel of perception: visual, auditory, kinestetik, digital. It is also possible to repeat (slightly paraphrasing or leaving as well) the last word companion. The epigraph serves as just such an example. But You try to do it more sensibly! That is appropriate and organically.
  • Beliefs and values
  • Personal experience (when the path something similar)

There are many nuances about how correctly to adjust:

- that cannot be "obezyannik"

- you need to count in the mind 1001, 1002, 1003, before repeating the gesture or the gaze of the interlocutor,

to make the most important better on the exhale, etc.

But, if You would be interested You can read more on the Internet, for example, in the book by S. V. Kovalev ® "Introduction to modern NLP", pp. 62-69.

I now want to write about the main thing - about the metaphorical rapport. This is when You imagine/visualize something that will automatically be transmitted to the source, acting on his unconscious (via the morphogenetic field, this field will also write an article. Ever).

  1. "Relatives".

Just imagine that the person you say is your relative. Just not the one you never saw a relative in the best sense of the word. The person with whom you are comfortable to chat and comfortable to be silent. You 2 souls of one Universe regardless of gender, age, status, etc. Appeal from soul to soul, bypassing the shell (body).

the Problem in communication arises when we dualities: I-you: like we're so different! And because Christ said, "when two become as one..." (the Bible) We are one, in fact.

  • "Lotus". Imagine that your heart has bloomed a thousand-year Lotus, and his scent envelops you and the interlocutor.

  • "the Bridge". Imagine that from your breast to the breast companion has jumped the openwork bridge, which you go towards each other and met in the center, start a warm conversation.

  • to"See nature." It was written long ago in the article about "other people's children", so just copy, and You can apply both to children and to for adults, as many adults deep down, too, kids...

"Imagine that the child - not what you see with the physical eyes, and something more... Or less. Kind of sweet, though unruly animal (kitten)? Mischievous Sweetheart? If the child is introverted or touchy, then maybe you will see spiny hedgehog? If slow - snail, etc. So you turn to its essence, it is easier to get in rapport and lead to Open... and open... to Give warmth and to receive it."

Honestly - I do not remember how I (paragraph 4) took, or read somewhere, or thought up.

  • the Image/character rapport.
  • Remember, with whom and when You were in rapport. Imagine this person and the situation.
  • Try to re-experience the body in nice condition. Where it occurs?
  • As if it once looked, how would it look like? Shape, size, color, consistency, what's that like? Remember that image/symbol.
  • Imagine it again when you want to get in rapport with someone.

and finally, a bit of transactional analysis (E. Berne).

You know that each person has 3 ego States: child, parent, adult. So to repeat, it is desirable to pay some attention to all three "persons":

  1. Ignite the sun in the soul of the child (the Child emotionally evaluates this man I like/don't like). Make a sincere compliment.
  2. Say Parent (Parent is responsible for the criticism), "We're the same blood!" ("I'm the same as You", "You and I" or "we both")
  3. to explain to an Adult (the most appropriate of all three) that "I win, you win". To find out significant criteria (what's important to You? what do you want?) and under them and adjust.

I Wonder, whether easily You manage to get in rapport and when You are feeling the heat the most?

the Article was written using materials of the seminar on "marketing themselves and their products" (course Specialist) and books Kovaleva S. V.

Sophie Lemus
Статья выложена в ознакомительных целях. Все права на текст принадлежат ресурсу и/или автору (B17 B17)

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