Rapunzel these days.


   Some of the facts of this story changed to preserve confidentiality. the
  Came a woman of about forty. She had a difficult relationship with her mother. According to client's mother wanted her complete submission and control over it. If this is not received, began to hurt his daughter, her quarrel with relatives and colleagues. One is a child from his mother's first marriage, was raised by his grandmother. All her life she wanted a family, to a mother's love, her approval. She tried to be “good” a daughter. The request was appropriate - to establish a relationship with the mother. My questions are, what will happen to her desired result, replied: “my Mom will stop saying nasty things about me and the relationship will be good, as it should be between mother and daughter.” it's Clear that with such hard work, I have no influence on the behavior of its mother. In my attempts to convey to the mind of women the inability to change another without his consent, she at first said ‘Mom, she's my mother, she might me a nice treat. It can also be good? Why she treats me?”

as the destruction of the self-assessment of the child's dependence is increasing... the Only way by which the child can explain their emotional harm and/or beatings inflicted on him their parents are taking responsibility for the behavior of toxic parents.
Susan Forward "Toxic parents”

  Listening to the history of the client, I remembered the cartoon ‘Tangled”.

  Image of mother gothel, holding Rapunzel, and her actions looked like a mother and her client's actions. What I heard at the meeting, immersed me in the action of the cartoon. “You will never get out!», - said the witch in the cartoon. The words of the mother, voiced by the client: “You need to control, you are not good enough”, “I am smarter than you”, “Only I know what's best for you”, “Your man is cheating on you”. the
  Presenting their behavior as care of the daughter, the mother often came to her, and humiliated her in front of the staff, insulted her with her child.
the Woman continued to live as if in a dual world. In one, she's adult man, held in the profession, she became a mother and nurturing her child. In the other - she's a little girl, constantly waiting for the approval of the mother and suffering from a permanent impairment.
  I asked the woman if she'd seen the cartoon ‘Tangled”? (The original brothers Grimm fairy tale is different story). She said she once saw, but barely remembers. I offered to watch it again.
  At the next meeting of the woman sheepishly said “Yes, the cartoon is reminiscent of her relationship with her mother”. To discuss the plot failed, as was true another, namely, another act of mother. The mother took and kept the child client, telling him his story about his “bad” the mother, by bribing the child with expensive toys. Client was ashamed of this situation and did not want publicity. For everything that happens she took the blame and kept saying “She's my mother, why would she do that? How can she?”

Our culture and our religions are unanimous in their support for the practical omnipotence of parental authority. Expression of dissatisfaction in respect of spouses, loved ones, brothers, bosses and friends is valid, but the conflict with the parents in order to defend our independence is considered almost taboo. How many
times have we heard “obey your mother” or “not dare to raise the voice of the father"? The Judeo-Christian tradition sacralized is taboo and joins it to the collective unconscious, telling us about ‘God the father" and imposing on us the responsibility of “honor your father and mother”. This idea finds expression in our schools, in churches, in government ("return to traditional family values”) and even in business. According to the "folk wisdom" our parents have the right to control us for the reason that they gave us life.
Susan Forward "Toxic parents”

  the Woman barely took the fact that her mother is very different from the fantasies about her from the image of a caring mother, which was painted by Soviet propaganda and were "socially desirable". Her mother does not know how to sympathize with and maintain, and are unlikely to learn.

  much To my regret, mother, like mother gothel from the ‘Tangled”, meet our reality.

Статья выложена в ознакомительных целях. Все права на текст принадлежат ресурсу и/или автору (B17 B17)

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