Reflections on female and male psychologists. My position.


For men the psychologists very attracted to the female audience. For example in the center, where I rent an office for psychotherapy and coaching, lie piles of business cards professionals - a couple dozen approximately male 7 of them or so. And most (not kidding, 4) directly on the card to denote "women", "women", women's training, etc.) I Have itching all crazy idea next to your print and put as a "psychologist for the men." So, from the bullying and trolling))) and maybe check - and suddenly it's too niche?

But seriously - no. I'm not going to do that.
Among my clients, men and women about equally, and I think this is logical and understandable - often come to me with requests to work with the emotional burnout, procrastination, work conflicts and failures, etc., and this is the topic relevant outside of the context of sex.
And here I work with the man and his needs, personality, not gender or gender identity.

On the issues of community/family life I have to work not with every customer, because I firmly adhere to the principle "do not scratch where it does not itch". However, when it is justified, for me the main problems (and solutions) lie in three areas:
- attention and honesty in relation to itself (to understand, to feel their true emotions, needs, to define their own goals);
- a willingness to see and hear the Other (not the solution of any task and the Man who does not exist for you, and just exists, even if he has not yet realized its nature);
- ability to build an honest and open dialogue with a Person, knowing yourself and at the same time, aware of Its uniqueness.

And for me this is very little for men and women. But in fact, what prevents this to happen too much universal: the substitution of their true needs, avoidance or taboo emotions; the object relationship (strict requirements, continuous evaluation of expectations); the inability to build an honest dialogue and more. However, I see enough in both sexes and form, which differs somewhat, is much less important than the fact. So here again I don't see the primary issue of gender.

No, I do not deny male and female, their unique features and of different nature. Moreover, sometimes with clients we are working on assigning feminine and masculine traits, understanding what they need, how and where to show them. This, again, regardless of man or woman is by nature a client, it finds, parses and assigns the traits of both.

Any psychologist, psychotherapist, consultant works with your personality as a tool. You can search for and find happiness and how to cultivate female or male essence - and this is also a way worthy of respect. It's just not for me. But with this ready to work plenty of great and respected by me peers.!

I believe that universal values and existential Givens through which we grow, develop and be happier outside of the sexual (and gender) are provided. That's the way I work. And I am very grateful to my clients who trust me with my values to help them in dealing with important and deep life issues regardless of whether they wear a skirt or pants, beard, or heels, are a business or organization of family life.

Ksenia Rzayev
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