have You ever thought why people seal their relationship by marriage? What even is marriage? And noticed a trend that after official registration and the stamp in the passport of the relationship begin to deteriorate sharply, although before the marriage it seemed that everything was perfect... Why is this happening? Let's try to understand this question.

If the theory considered marriage, it is a social phenomenon, which is regulated by the society. There is even a family law, which spelled out all the legal nuances and distributed responsibility within the law. The society created a set of templates that should fit the average family. These templates are passed on from generation to generation and, by default, are seen as the norm.

for Example,

"just the family, so to have children."

"the Husband should provide for his family."

"the Wife should create a cosiness, to cook and raise children."

"the Family should spend the holidays together."

"Husband and wife should sleep in the same bed."

And there "Must(a)"very much, too much to list.

And here on these oughts, correspondences and reports before the company begins to build the newly formed family. To us important to show all the relatives, neighbors, people on the street that we have an exemplary cell of society. And no time to develop relationships, one goal - to get into a public template.

We are like two different worlds merge into one, creating a family, and it is impossible to do without an "adjustment" in order to understand and accept each other. But there are families who even argue to be afraid in his own apartment due to the fact that suddenly the Mary Jane in the stairwell think they are all bad.

We are very great importance to give to what others think, and not worry about what is going on between us actually. Instead of having to develop relationships, to learn to understand each other, respect, support, we begin to throw accusations and offended by the inconsistencies of social standards.

Based on the above written, the phrase "you should" thread that runs in the relationship after marriage. Before visiting the registry office we are more respectful of the personal boundaries of our elected representatives. And as soon as we officially "gave each other under the painting" in a public institution, we immediately perceive the person as property, and respect as the smoke disappears from the relationship, instead, give a pack of templates that need to adapt.

the Family is certainly a responsibility, demanding commitment and restriction of freedom. And this is why it is important to invest in the development of the relationship, not in the opinions of others. Only if we develop our feelings, to support them with mutual respect, peace, understanding, and attention to the needs of each other, then we will be able to create and maintain a strong unit of society, which want to spend a lifetime.

However this process is complicated, the above relationship should work in any endeavor that would benefit, and not everyone is ready for such development of events or just doesn't know HOW and WHAT to do to nurture the relationship at the desired level. Unfortunately, the psychologist has appeal when boat called "the Family" goes to the bottom, a pair of disappointed in the values of marriage and does not always work to save her.

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Author's article first posted "Sapphire"