In our culture adopted completely radical approaches to behavior in the relationship. Some are convinced that you need to tolerate rudeness, irritation, insults from a partner, because I think it is normal for a relationship. They compare themselves with less successful married people and comforted it. Or think of a better life they can not see. Others believe that we must not tolerate anything and if they are not satisfied with something, seek to break off relations.
In my opinion, radical positions are not very correlated with reality. Of course, in relationships there are some events and facts that must be endured. For example, illness of a partner or temporary unemployment. But it is helpful to endure the brutality, injustice? To keep quiet?
Let's consider in detail how to build a warm and trusting relationship? Surely many readers have experience of such a relationship – someone with a brother or sister, boyfriend or girlfriend, father, mother, grandmother.... What is it about this relationship that allowed us to be close and to feel reliable?
most Likely, you will remember that it was the emotions experienced together. You could share with this man, because he understood you. But let's look at the mechanism – understanding. Due to what we are able to understand other people? Sometimes at the expense of the experience of life experience, but in new situations in which we have more experience, we orientirueshsya emotions that we see in other people. Seeing the contorted face and hearing a loud voice, we realize that the person is angry. Seeing the tearful eyes, we realize that the person is sad. Seeing the raised eyebrows, we see a surprise.... Due to the explicit emotions, we can understand the human condition, and depending on our experience, one way or another to handle him carefully or strictly.
it is Therefore very important to be in a relationship emotions. If you'll hang on and hope that partner will come round, it is unlikely that you will wait for the result... Rather, the result would be if you different ways you will try to convey to the partner: "it's not like me!" "I want another!", "you're wrong about me!"
Sometimes it is enough to say one phrase to the behavior of the partner has changed. It happens that the partner just didn't know what you don't like something in the relationship, because you did not show my emotions.
of Course, you can say "it's not for me", "I tried (or tried) and I didn't get"... of Course, you can withdraw and not to change anything, but what if you were just on step away from success? What if you try again, perhaps your words did not have enough pressure? Perhaps your partner was so lost in thought that you didn't hear? Perhaps your family did not expect such words from you, and therefore did not react? What if you repeat?
Sometimes indeed it happens that we try to talk about themselves, and we do not hear. Why? This happens if we choose the wrong form. For example, if you start with tranquil views to talk about what makes you angry, ambient most likely will not understand the power of your emotions and can change their behavior. But if you raise your voice or choose a more succinct expression is that these same people will readily comply with your request... Your contribution to the relationship is very important, the quality of the relationship always depends on both partners.... If you begin to change, and will change the relationship completely. Partner will have a new way to respond to new or new to you! Try! Don't be afraid of mistakes. Every attempt brings you closer to the relationships, which take into account not only the wishes of the partner, but also your own!
safety: at first, your changes can frighten the partner, and you (yourself) can be difficult to behave in new ways. So do not try immediately to Express their opinion and attitude. Do it in meaningful situations, and succeed!