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I got smarter, much smarter. I was much to notice and understand. Most importantly in yourself. I know what I'm angry right now, what you want, why you're so sad, where did the energy, why sore neck where drowsiness.

I learned to negotiate with them, to make difficult decisions, to do without the help and ask for sympathy. Safe sympathy. To refuse, not to pick up the phone when I strained not to explain, to apologize when you are late, to repair the damage, if not kept his promise, to concede, to be angry and to do a pause.

I waited a long time that I just let. But instead often heard it's your call. I was advised just to relax when inside was boiling, I was advised not to react when it was not possible to sleep. But none have shown and taught another method of getting rid of tension, only to relax. After all, relaxation will not achieve any result, but self-deception.

I'm reminded how much endured in childhood. It's just awful. I didn't understand almost any one lesson. I wouldn't do to help. Because children often do not understand what is happening to them. Long do not understand. And only when it can not be an explosion occurs. And here to me was the same. I ran all lessons. Did not understand, physics, chemistry, mathematics. Not only that, I understood nothing, I couldn't stand for my failure master. Self-esteem to plummet. At school I endured teachers, and children, who treated me to say the least cold. At home dad, who often allowed himself to get me off the phone. Solfege, which I did not understand, and went only to the hearing, which allowed to easily write dictations. And here the circle is closed. Closed by my closure. Wherever you look, everywhere horror. Either at home or in school, I had not received any support. Nothing. In addition to stay in different places and feelings of loneliness and fear. Mom said that you just need to relax. But in life you need to relax in such situations. You need to solve the problem instead of hiding.

Since childhood we are learning strategies inherent in our parents. It can be a struggle with circumstances, the avoidance in different ways, e.g. diseases, imaginary relaxation.

you Need to consider that children for the most part bad. I mean they don't understand anything about life, I don't know what happens to them, how to react. And well, when adult stable, and can sit down with your child and provide him with the needed help. You need to notice the problem, and all the family surround the child with care and control of its problems.

Yesterday my colleague told me how her relatives decided to respond to problems. As soon as someone is they are great folks and thinking about how to make better. She has the energy and desire to help make a big deal in the fate of the child.

I believe that anxiety can always be avoided seeing her. And Yes, someone needs to relax, and it will help. But someone does not need to relax. We need to help solve the problems. Support. To give a hand. Not to entertain and to tell that it's the little things, namely to assist. And that's all. Nothing more.

I have long thought what to do for her child. Buy nice things, drive to the resorts, have fun and talk. But it worked in early childhood when she had no children's work). And I could not understand what I'm doing wrong. I was advised to relax. But really, she needed me to take their share of responsibility for learning on themselves. Was not relaxing, and began to help. I taught classes, controlled load, demanded and pointed. Not entertained and amused.

I 1580000000 years. And just now I learned how to learn. Only now I realized that so much repressed, so much suffered anxiety and terror from childhood that had no energy left, only to contain his inner terror. And if I could no longer hold it inside and I took off something awful, and still believed that I have a terrible temper. In short, I was a poor child.

Some time ago I went back to study. And at some point I started setting the alarm. I was scared that I'd fail, it won't be that I'm incompetent. It all felt I have not yet allowed myself to use help. I took tutor, ordered part of the work, took extra classes. I myself held for the first time and getting satisfaction in mind. And Yes, adult can take care of himself, he can understand how to make themselves better. And the child is not.

And you know, all kids want to learn well. Not for teachers, not for parents, but for their own safety. What would feel comfortable. And if the parent enrolled the child in a lot of circles, and can't anything to help, and the child is bent, then there are several options, including pick up from all clubs. But not advised to relax. No. First real help, and then the Council to relax. Here. Something like this.


2018-12-05
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