Счастье любит тишину

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the

"so they were saying at all angles of your happiness and went!", usually main argument. Love, friendship, a new job, a hobby — it can be about different, but the principle one. Something good turns into bad because of the publicity. It happens, but do not confuse cause and effect.

the Reason most often idealization. People brag about their ideal partners and relationships, placing photos, writing odes or comparing ourselves to less fortunate couples. So we want to convince ourselves that everything is fine. If we draw a picture of their wonderful relationship, communicate it to other people and so it becomes more real.


Look at yourself through the eyes of the audience — one of the ways of anesthesia. If another (subscribers, friends, colleagues, parents) sees no problems, so it is possible to continue them and to ignore. The truth is a trap: if you do not recognize their problems, then they cannot work. "Bad" is separated from the good. For example, love a good man, but the work/parents/friends bad. How do you want to clean your beautiful beloved from this husk and finally get your ideal partner. In reality it seems impossible, but here in instagram or in fantasy.

When you like photos of themselves more than real itself is the problem. When you continue relationship for that in the past they were good and you been together is the problem. When you make decisions, not to destroy someone's opinion about you is the problem. So you began to live for the sake of image, for the sake of memories, you run away from reality. Post your photos on social networks or to share the joy in another way it's not a problem if you are aware of the fact, why would you.



Idealization is dangerous ground and everything built on it will definitely collapse. Which, incidentally, is not a sentence, but one of the crises about which so much talk. It is really to get out of it and even grow, if you can accept yourself, partner and your prospects without glitter embellishment. People often try to avoid this process, it is associated with many fears and resistance. This is understandable, because people have the illusion that no idealization there is no happiness, no love, and relationships, an alternative would be only sad to humility and compromise, and even the gap. Damn hard to accept yourself, another, life without glutomat & taste — love. But nothing, we, psychotherapists, and need.

Julia Tereshkina
2018-11-11
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