As promised in previous article, now we will focus on what contribution the spouse in case of family development, you should pay special attention, and which must be avoided if the objective of creating a prosperous and harmonious family relationships. To family relationships bring the desired satisfaction, it will be necessary to try. Something will have to sacrifice even. Of course! I do not hope, do you, dear reader, all my life only to receive without giving anything in return?
in General, it is worth noting the important and somewhat unpleasant fact that some of the modern men simply do not have the moral right to be called men. They practically do not have the skills for the settlement of family relationships, do not possess the ability to provide for his family, to make responsible decisions and much more. I hope that they are not hopeless and are aware of their responsibility in the first place before God, for my family.
to Begin with, under any circumstances, even created a family. Start is extremely important because it largely determines how the situation will begin to develop the relationship between the young couple. There are cases when the victim failed in first love a man, not having time to fully experience all their emotions, then, as if on the thumb, falls in love with another girl. Movable range of their senses is very wide. Here and resentment at first, and her desire to prove anything, and disappointment. But you never know what could be in this situation! This inner emptiness that seeks to be filled, leads to the fact that the man starts to idealize the image first got him women. If we add here the increasing sexual needs, it becomes obvious that the new object of his love is not so specific. Speaking of specificity, you need to understand first of all that's sane and zpravodajstvi a person loves another just the same, this very specificity, in other words, the uniqueness, the individuality, the peculiarity that is inherent only to that particular person. In principle, we are all in some measure specific, the only question is whether a different specificity of this or not. Now, the man who fall "rebound", as a rule, either does not notice this specificity, or see one that actually may not be. That is, he gives her some qualities which are the object of his feelings may not be. This is the first thing you should pay attention, because the disappointment will come in this case, because the reality will sooner or later become apparent.
in General, addressing the issue of causes of misunderstanding in the family, one cannot ignore the total difference in the psychology of men and women. These differences are substantial enough to pay special attention to them. In principle, man and woman think in different ways. Rather, they think the same form of thinking; the differences observed in the contents and priorities. It was established experimentally that among men, a greater percentage falls on the left hemisphere, and women – in the right hemisphere. Which of the hemispheres of the brain is dominant, depends on the definition of what type of thinking dominates: verbal-logical or figuratively-intuitive.
the majority of men believes that women's logic is the absence of logic, and not particularly wondering about how logical their own logic. Yes, the woman thinks otherwise, and that cannot be ignored, it is extremely important to consider. The woman, unlike us thinking more emotionally. To her often the criterion of truth is not internal, logical connection between different events or phenomena, and its inner sense of what is happening, whether it meets the requirements of comfort and reliability. It should always be borne in mind as for any woman it is extremely important to be heard, she must be feeling that her opinion matters, that it is not neglected. Unfortunately, there is a category of women who build their own intellect in worship, which often leads to the fact that they were taking a decision under the influence of feelings, sincerely believe that it is logically justified. I don't want to offend women, but still women need to understand that logic is not their strong suit. But, in addition, men should also understand that quite often a woman intuitively comes to the right decision, then how logically to justify their own position and can not. This is due to the feature of intuitive thinking, which relies more on images and feelings. In General, it is unacceptable to belittle the intellectual ability of women, she may not forgive. The trouble is that in society men are quite firmly established stereotype that women are intellectually weak. This, in turn, have spawned defensive reactions, and the best defense is attack. Don't forget that. You will achieve much more from your wife if you let her feel heard and important.
since I started talking about emotional women, it is necessary to examine this issue in more detail. Besides the difference in way of thinking, there is still a big difference in how you feel men and women, and more specifically the importance of feelings. If you ask the man a question that it is more important to love or be loved, the vast, if not absolute majority will answer that it is more important to love yourself. The diametrically opposite response give women, for them it is more important to feel loved, since they were the subject of the love of a man. Even in choosing a spouse, a girl guided by the extent to which they love a potential husband, they intuitively see guarantee good, patronizing attitude to his own person. And they are right. Because a loving husband will try to show the utmost care for his beloved. However, in this lies some danger for men. The fact that we are essentially conquerors, and it is imperative for us to win the heart of his beloved. And some of us who are not particularly well versed in the intricacies of the female psyche, as soon as achieve reciprocity, immediately begin to behave like a savage conqueror. It appears that now this man thinks that it is already possible to relax and not necessarily to prove his wife's feelings, talking about them, making compliments, etc. All this leads only to the fact that the woman begins to show its not the best hand, it was her natural reaction to change. She might get jealous, to show somewhere, even hysterical behaviour. All this together leads to the fact that the above man starts to wonder what happened to that sweet yoke, that pretty girl, why all of a sudden its replaced by such an aggressive wife? In fact, he just lost sight of what it most he is guilty, that his actions caused incremental changes. So, if we once tried to convince my wife in my own feelings, it does not mean that now this could be refused. Just emphasizing how important for us our wife is how strong our feelings, we are easily able to achieve what our wife will strive to be the best for her husband. Don't forget that.
Should pay attention to the difference in criteria of identity of both sexes. For women is very important in a man such qualities as independence, toughness, ability to make decisions, maturity judgment, courage. And if we suddenly, in a given situation demonstrated indecision, we seriously risk losing credibility in the eyes of his wife. Also, you should take into account the fact that for the majority of women it is essential to feel a full-fledged mistress in their own house. Of course, many of them never admit, even to themselves, but it is, and this cannot be considered. In this regard, best of all, any decisions about where there will be a sofa, and a TV, leave at their discretion (of course, if this is not so essential). However, it is essential to keep all the time a balance and not cross the critical line, after which you actually home will as a guest. If there are things fundamental to You, you should firmly insist on. Even if Your wife and take the offense (which in fact is nothing but an attempt to make us feel guilty, and as a consequence the appearance of wanting to fix), then in the end it will be more respect, more importantly, to her that is was not essential, then certainly, the fact the whiff of kerosene and some quarrels can not be avoided. Generally, to be afraid of quarrels are not worth it, just need to learn how to resolve them, so that their result was not chronic discontent, and turbulent reconciliation.
in Any case it is unacceptable to ignore the external data of his wife. Need from time to time to make compliments, to say she is the most beautiful. This is very important. Making my wife compliments, we are developing her confidence, which ultimately leads to the fact that it fully reveals to us all its beauty, behaves naturally, without any complexes. And if it is important for You to find the perfect wife, mistress (I hope you understand in what sense I mean) then do not miss the opportunity to emphasize the beauty of her body. This is a must for women. Only through this she gains confidence and will not allow doubtful thoughts about its appeal. In this regard (if there are problems) have to be created in the initial stages of family life darkened atmosphere in the bedroom and to implement sex under a blanket, at least until feelings of awkwardness and embarrassment will not work.
Let's not forget that we men in the first place, the obligation to treat their wives in the best way that involves understanding the individual psychological characteristics of personality.