Silence as a method of psychological protection or resistance to contact?


In any interaction, there are three focus of attention: self (x), partner (y), on the field interact with each other (z).
If one of the partners stops, then the second does not understand what was happening to him. And in the interaction there is a vague variable, which distorts the process of further cooperation.

i.e., in the equation x+y=z, where z is the relationship, the result becomes unpredictable.
as one who is silent has neovessel on the border of contact in the relationship and that it is not clear. The saddest thing is that he wants is also not clear.
the Second clue, projects, dreams. Sometimes guesses about what he thinks first. Sometimes you don't.
In any case, it affects the increase of the ambiguity, and therefore it is not clear where and how to move forward. Of course, the ambiguity creates anxiety in the soul of someone you are silent. He does not understand what was going on? Often does not understand the reason why the partner was silent.

So if Your partner was silent. Not in a hurry. Make it clear what was going on. Why he is silent. About. And what he wants.
one who is silent not too sweet. Sometimes to talk is worse than silence, because while the man is silent, nothing changes. But as you begin to speak -afraid that there will be a change. But in relationships it is normal that the situation should stognatsii situation of development, therefore, silent on the development of unstoppable. But if You are important and You want to be conversational relationship with a partner - it is important to verbalize their experiences and to reach the border of the contact, to talk.
don't rush. The main thing - speed. And understanding. What it means for You silence. It's safety? Because silence can be a resistance to contact, and protection.
If You're at speed will start to do something, likely involved in manipulation. Perhaps even not yours, but borrowed and adopted from parents.
Therefore, it is necessary to start with this: WHAT do YOU MEAN specifically SILENCE in Your relationship. AND WHICH SIDE IS SILENT OR ONE WHO IS SILENT?

Psychologist, Gestalt therapist, Anne Nine,
Personal, family, and group therapy.
make an appointment by phone +79161919699, skype asterisk2011
Also come on live my instagram: @psycholog_anna_devyatka

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