I feel sad when people break up, marriages are crumbling, families are falling apart, but even in this extremely tragic and difficult event has its advantages.
so, the relationship is over.
Starts hard time, coupled with low self-esteem, inadequate attitude, melancholy, dejection, sadness. At this time, it is useful to take a break and stay in this state, give yourself time to realize what happened. In addition, you need to seek emotional support, care and assistance to loved ones.
Believe me, despite the fact that you are convinced that with the collapse of your partnership collapsed, the whole world, it is not so! If you look closely around, you will be surprised you're surrounded by good, caring people – parents, relatives, friends, colleagues; life continues in the same rhythm. More talk about your feelings and experiences on the principle of "shared sorrow - Polgara".
Quite often the loss of a close relationship is accompanied by no less a traumatic event, such as moving an application to the Registrar, the court for divorce, division of property and determination of domicile of children. The organization of it all for some time switches with traumatic events, however, when things are done, documents are collected and given to the court, the property divided, things are parsed, you are left alone with their feelings.
After the first stage of denial, shock, often the person begins to experience towards oneself or towards the partner anger, anger, hate. Understanding what is happening with you is natural and normal for all people who are experiencing similar things, will help remove some of the tension. Give yourself permission to be mad, stay for everything that happens to you. It is useful at this stage to read the relevant literature, to watch movies, from time to time to live together with the characters difficult moments. Of course, "not all yogurts are equally useful", but definitely there are films and books that can at some point be "analgesic". Surely in your community there are people who pass this way, ask them for help, ask for their experience, ask questions, share their experiences. Understanding that there are people with similar challenges will help you come to a healthy idea of what "life after divorce is!"
once you annoy plenty of, likely to start justice, you will consider how much someone spent in the relations of energy, time, money and much more. This path is also useful to pass, the realization that in a relationship it is difficult to calculate the subjective contribution of each, may become the first step towards acceptance of the situation.
For the same period is characterized by bidding. Trading with God, fate, life, and maybe with a real partner. Your mental discomfort so much selenium that You think that you are ready to do anything to preserve and extend relationships! It's a trap. At this time, if you and your partner decide to negotiate, be careful, "signing" in agreement to the relationship. Being in an emotionally serious condition, it is very easy to agree on the renewal of the relationship on any terms. Because if you do work on the bugs, you need to do it consciously and for both partners.
once completed auctions and counted justice, there is usually a long and painful depression. At this moment people, as a rule, absolutely "forget" about my body: forget to take care of him, feed him, organize the rest and timely sleep. This is a good time to try to teach him something nice and useful: take him to bath, Solarium or gym, this might be the yoga or swimming.
At this moment also don't want to be alone, it is useful to try to fill our lives with the usual things: work, school, socializing, Hobbies. However, it is useful to be able to organize your life so that on days when your condition worsens, you have had the opportunity to be alone, to lie down in despondency, report, close, abandon chores, to cry into a pillow and spend all the wipes are in the house.
And the long-awaited stage of adoption you with a slight sadness say, "Yes, it was in my life, but this relationship is over and I have learned(La) of them a lesson..." and, despite this, from time to time, you think back to the sad events you "covers" longing or anger or regret, but you are able to look inside yourself and say to yourself "I know this too shall pass..." Well, if during all this the hard way, you will go to a close friend, family or psychologist that you trust.
Some extremely useful advice: don't hurry to make new partnerships! After all, to build a new relationship, you need to finalize the old, and details understanding and making mistakes.
As stated in a parable: "One day the sage came a young man who was going to marry, and asked:
- Teacher, I want to get married, but certainly only a virgin. Tell me I do well?
the Teacher asked,
- why a virgin?
- So I can make sure my wife is virtuous, - said the young man.
Then the teacher got up and brought two apples – one whole, and the second to be bitten. And invited the young man to try them. He took it whole, bite it, the Apple was rotten. Then he took the bitten bitten off, but the bitten Apple was rotten. In disbelief the young man said,
- So how do I need to choose a wife? - confused young man.
- with the Heart, is the Master said.