Someone asked to put the client


the Client is now gone advanced! Smart went client! So he will come to the balance and let's be direct: it is put, and it is not set, move mom here, and dad actually let's remove who is he to me? That and it is not. Want, and do not want to. And it seems like the concept of a customer-centric setups is good. You could even say great. But there is one nuance that I would like to highlight more.

namely, we assume, was at a client's destructive family, simply put — a bad family. Mom beat dad drank, or Vice versa, then it does not matter, and it is important that our client is being very small, had not received the love and care that he was needed, no support, no sense of basic security. In short, he was in emotional deficit. Well as time went on, the client grew. He learned how to survive in this family, learned to cope, to do with himself, unable to ask anyone not to hope. So he grew, grew and grew. Got a career, a family, maybe even started, moved out of my parents away and currently lives. But not without psychology. Ache inside him something. And that is not very clear. And he goes to therapy, in different groups, trying different approaches, finds a placement, the Deputy walks on groups and knows a lot of theory. Well, that's just good in it understands. And then he decided to do his job. Comes. The client sits next to the juggling. And together they form the query and go to work. Well, as often is the case, is evident from our client in placing mom and dad (Well, where without them? We all come from childhood!). And here in a survey of Vice-moms and dads we get feedback, not to baby them, the essence of the claims is not clear at all, let say thank you that have given birth! The client confirms it. And! Then he says: and let's put my mom and dad essential essential. They say that these parents it is clear that I do not want to give (which is, incidentally, another question — do you want? Or can't you? Or already given, and say thank you?), so at least those will let. I say smart, I went to the client today.

And here is the caveat, which I mentioned at the beginning.

namely, who asked to put the client at this point? Who are these essential mom and dad? We support the client-are agreeing on this?

From my experience I can say the following: I do not put never essential parents! In fact who are they? The ideal image of the customer, as it could be if it were otherwise! Perfect, but not real! It was not in his life, this was not and will never happen! What runs on the client at this point? Pain! From pain, from anger, from grief! From experiencing the whole gamut of feelings and from taking responsibility for their own Lives. What we support in the client, exposing the essential parents? Right, kids magic thinking — but this will change everything, all at once and I will succeed! But what I do a lot of work at this point is with the adoption! With the adoption of a client, with all the feelings he has! With the acceptance of the reality that he had. With the adoption of those parents who is! With the adoption of the receipt of his Life from such parents and such a price! It's not easy! Moreover, often it is a long slow painful journey of therapy not one work! But, in my opinion, it's worth it! Worth it to meet up with his Life, such as it is, without embellishment and pink bubbles! To meet and to accept that it is good! Such as it is! And now that I have adult, I can myself to do any! Such as I want! And only depends on me what she will do next, even if at the beginning something went wrong! And in this place the customer much growing up! Becomes cool it! Happy to look at it! And client status changes: he becomes more confident and calm! He believes in himself. Wonderful way with the adoption we have seen changes in the swing of the parents, they have a different look at children, and is already possible at least some dialogue. And if this client is necessary — it will take place, and if not, then not.! After all, now he decides consciously that he is good and what is not. And it's much different than it was in the beginning.

If you have a real job, Pro-Life, you invite yourself to a group. Miracles will not be, not a witch I am, and to accompany in life with great pleasure for you can. I'm a therapist reality!

Vitalina V.
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