the Peculiarity of Russian families is the confusion, and sometimes rosenast* psychological relations between family members and different generations. Often the "close" relations in families due to the economic and social factors: accommodation in the same area, financial dependence of the younger generation from the older, elderly parents, or Vice versa, help a young family in the care of children. In reality, the fact of cohabitation or the financial independence of a young family are so crucial, parents of spouses can be extremely active and sometimes aggressive intruding in the Affairs of a young family, even geographically, to name a few separately. One of the most serious problems that arises in such cases is a violation of the formation of sovereignty and personal space of a young family.
the Concept of sovereignty refers to the totality of rights and responsibilities in decision-making, in contrast to the concept of independence, which describes autonomy in meeting their needs. To achieve their own identity, feeling themselves independent family — husband and wife, father and mother, and not part of parent family — a son and daughter, brother and sister, young couples need to establish their own family boundaries governing their functioning as separate systems, with their independence and sovereignty. A young family needs to learn how to resolve their conflicts within the family, to make their own decisions and be responsible for their consequences.
to understand what obstacles family faced in this process, Russian researchers have studied typical for Russian families reaction to the sovereignty and personal space. The study involved 20 young couples who have lived together for over a year, and their parents (mother-in-law, father-in-law, father-in-law).**
the following results.
1. Women were more likely to violate the privacy of the personal space of their husbands: they seek to regulate his daily routine, interfering in his social relations, are not inclined to reckon with its values and tastes. Men (unlike women) show higher levels of support for the personal space of their partners.
2. The mothers-in-law tend to actively intervene in the private space of son-in-law, and with the greatest activity, they violate the sovereignty of their habits and social relations. Violation of privacy is manifested in the termination of the initiated action or in breach of procedure, causing the young man is experiencing the frustration of incompletion of planned activities, lose leadership in family relations and sense of self-confidence (trivial and very common situation — being asked to do one thing and then saying drop everything and do another, and then take offense or criticize, that is not performed or performed badly the first order). Excessive intervention Tiffany's in social communications-in-law manifested in the control over his close environment (relatives, friends) and professional contacts. Controlled by the intensity of social contacts-in-law, the exchange of information.
3. Mother-in-law also interfere and violate the boundaries of personal space of their daughters. Intervention is most evident in an area such as the sovereignty of values. Mother-in-law does not share and often do not respect the inherent daughter-in-law of values and tastes, for instance clothing, habits, leisure time, etc.
4. Violation of personal space in young women has also been observed by their parents. Mostly it is manifested in the relations of mother to her daughter on such measurements as the sovereignty of things, the sovereignty of the habits and social relations. While the father would rather tend to maintain personal space his daughter.
5. Men demonstrate a rather suspended position and this, in turn, leads to dissatisfaction with the relationship on the part of a young family. Young men with high levels of self-sovereignty, the total level of conflict in the family was significantly lower than that of men with low sovereignty.
Thus, the study showed that in Russian families-finding personal space and sovereignty of the young couple most of the obstacles arise from women seeking to dominate, control and regulation of life in the professional and social ties of her husband and children. Men are more likely to support the personal space of family members and private spaces of the young couple, however, is perceived by women as emotional coldness, distancing, and perhaps even as indifference or weakness.
In General, it can be noted that the study very carefully and from afar comes to "sick" to Russian families subject women hyperconcentrated and desire to dominate, destroying in its path any obstacles (especially in view of the independence of the husband and children) to implement the national I-ideal of a strong woman, which "the horse at full tilt will stop and into a burning log hut will enter" and always knows best what, when and how to do it. In real life this is most often manifested in petty household tyranny, total control and unconscious but extremely destructive to envy the success of her husband, if any occur, and other women.
*When a person does not understand where his personality ends and starts the other person's identity is often revealed in the process of achieving goals is very much what I wanted, and then realized that it was not his goal, and the dream of the mother or father.
*Ryabikina Z. I. Family as an event: the focus of the subjectivity of the individual to support privacy and personal identity//In the collection: From the beginnings to the present 130 years of the organization of the psychological society at Moscow University: proceedings of the anniversary conference in 5 volumes, 2015, p. 154-156
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