Master, you said if I know who I am, I will become wise, but how to do it?

- first take away people right to decide who you are.

- How is it, Master?

- One will tell you that you're wrong, you believe him and will be upset.

Another will tell you that you're good, you'll be happy.

You praised or blamed, believe you, or betray. As long as they have the right to decide who you are, or what you are, you don't find yourself. Take from them that right. And I, too.

On a basic course of positive psychotherapy in first module, discovered amazing information, based on which I was born training for women and a lot of thought. The basic idea is that every person, without exception, is born, nature has two main basic abilities, ability to learn and the ability to love.

These abilities are developed throughout life in different ways and based on them are laid other relevant qualities. For example, through the ability to know a person can develop such qualities as cleanliness, punctuality, responsibility, diligence, loyalty, obedience, or because of different factors, to develop enough, that is, to be in short supply.

But, like trust, patience, hope, sexuality, faith, confidence are developed from the ability to love and be loved. Or remain in their infancy and not sufficiently open. The most valuable thing in this theory for me is that the person has the opportunity to develop those abilities that he wants, but which under the influence of various factors was in short supply. That is freedom of choice of man and the principle of hope.

Ability to comprehend, to a greater extent expresses the intellectual, analytical level, and the ability to love – emotional, sensual, spiritual, they reflect different aspects of life and in the unity of his serve for human development, creating the interweaving, unrepeatable individuality of each of us. And there is a kind of magic, the unity of opposite poles, as in the mandala of Yin and Yang, when connecting, multidirectional energy, complement each other and bring ourselves to the holistic balance in the new development.

so, let's see together how basic the ability of love intertwined with the basic ability to learn. A child comes into this world with unconditional love, he is not burdened with complicated feelings, such as guilt, shame, anger, he had no such experience. Therefore, children are called angels and in this absolute, in my opinion, though.

At the cellular level, the feeling of love based on the nature of Spontaneity, as there are no restrictions in expressing yourself. So the child in its manifestations, direct and open. Same as you can feel when you fall in love, feelings of love are difficult to control, to manage it. Acts against another person be spontaneous, impulsive, alive.

Then, growing up, each of us is an experience that is based on the assessment, first adult relatives, then the social system. We are constantly ourselves and the world estimate, because the ability of unconditional love in our world does not bring security, and sometimes is accepted as an eccentricity and inadequacy. Us childhood, give clear guidelines of what is good and what is bad and then we are automatically using these settings every second appreciate yourself and the world around us, often without noticing it. Thus, self-Esteem begins to limit Spontaneity, so we adapt to society in the process of education.

the Spontaneity in the light of the distortion of the self dies, is frozen, literally and figuratively. Adult man often sacrifices his own feelings, impulses, intuitive manifestations in favor of a positive image in the eyes of others, afraid to feel shame, guilt, rejection, etc. are normal, guilt is a kind of fuse does not allow us to behave in aggressive or immoral. But in excess, guilt and shame violates unconditional love of self, self-support and faith. Self-assessment occurs with the distortion in the negative pole, cultivate inner critic. The student syndrome, workaholic, all addictions, is a compensation for the deficit of love.

When there is not enough Joy from the spontaneous part, is broken Thanks to the world itself. The person is guided must. Gratitude is the cure for neurotic guilt. To see even in the most difficult situations positive pole, it is a skill that helps to leave the neuroticism and develop positive thinking. Self-esteem in such cases, distorted or exaggerated or distorted understated. A lot of perfectionism and idealization as traits. In relations with other people have the same swing, as in the case with, for example, Kumertau (idealization) – resentment - depreciation.

the Spontaneity brings to life Interest awakens a state of inner child and self-balanced personal motivation. That is the man who sees before him his coveted, interesting goal, fewer stops their manifestations of shame, guilt, fear, resentment. A healthy attitude is to accept its not perfect and imperfection. After all, perfect and perfect forms they are finite, there is no development and life. And our personality while we are alive is different stages of development, connecting with his natural personality, nurturing her.

Fast to put together from wood only box to grow a tree, you need patience. Patience for all of us in the way of love and knowledge.

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