Resentment frequent companion of our relationship.
Resentment corrodes our soul and our body. Resentment contributes to the development of peptic ulcer disease. How can you weaken the offense and let it go? How to learn not to be offended?
When we scrolls the offense in the head, then we make it stronger, the resentment only grows stronger.
why do we need offense? What function does it perform? Actually, resentment is a necessary feature adaptation of people to each other. Resentment contributes to the regulation of relations.
In the act of resentment there is always two people. Is offended is offended. Offended offended cause guilt. So touchy, people not only suffer themselves, but hurt others, forming guilt.
Resentment is experienced spontaneously she emerges from the depths of our unconscious. Each new offense makes us even more resentful. The first time we experience a hurt in childhood and in the future, we react to resentment from the child's position.
We are offended most often in people close to us. This is because we are not indifferent to them and we have them a certain way. If the person we care about or he is a stranger, we can resent them did, but the resentment it causes.
Let's see how resentment is born.
We expect close to us person of a particular behavior. We have in relation to it installation. We assume that our partner must follow these settings. If not, is born of resentment. Thus, resentment is the result of discrepancies between expected behavior and real. Resentment is born we have in mind the comparison of these two programs.
you Can select the following mental action in the mechanism of grievances:
1) My perceptions, expectations about how to me to behave close to me. Behaviour of another person towards me.
2) My observation of the behavior of another person. I define deviations from expected behavior.
3) there is an estimation of the real behavior and my expectations. When they do not match then I feel frustrated and pain, which is the offense. Therefore, we develop the offense.
What to do with the offense? How to reduce its impact on our lives?
1) Build realistic expectations in relation to people close to you.
2) Stop to appreciate the other person's behavior and compare it with your ideas of what it needs to do and how to behave.
3) Learn to accept other people for who they are.
Here's a simple recipe for the prevention of grievances.
Surkov Oleg Vladimirovich
I work with the soul!