so far, I tried to keep myself from sometimes covering the Shadows, and not to pour out what I (often) really think. But the last time my Shadow started to get out of control. This is due to the different happening to me things, but mostly the satisfaction of themselves and the world around you.
I Think for many it is no secret that the gaze falling on the other person, rather, its manifestation, reveals to us our hidden desires and our limitations. And often we admire is not material things, and the way they purchase other. For example, a friend poimevshih the car at the expense of her lover in the nation) is considered... well... not quite decent))). But if we notice the story and discuss, the more likely we cling to some of the qualities of the holders of the machine, namely: confidence, arrogance, courage, love of self, ability to appreciate yourself and your desires. But many people want to be good, and therefore described the quality is just not bare. But let me remind you that we notice in others what is in ourselves, but what we do not give the green light.
I Think many would like to be strong, confident, boldly going to the goal. But what are You willing to pay for such important qualities? Strange question - the courage to have them. I'm about the qualities. Yes, it is easier to be insecure, not knowing what you want, not taking no decisions in his life, adrift at sea. Yes, this strategy often brings pleasure. I know people who as they say "quiet glanders" came to their goals, almost without investing. However, there are those who don't wait for the sea weather, and know exactly what they want. The second option is more complex, it is fraught with powerful fears and refuse to be cut. And with some bitchiness. Here is the bitchiness is very helpful in achieving goals. Why do I say this? Yes, because I tend to do for others and put others first. So largely deprive myself of the fact that give to others.
Notice that the last time began to notice and admire those who have shows their desires, not taking responsibility for the opinion and reaction of others, and only thinks of its own needs and desires.
I in no case do not call to cultivate the kind of selfish, but on the other hand a healthy ego helps you understand yourself and listen to yourself.
and finally, I will describe an interesting case, which is due to my observation made me think about my own Shadows that wants to be heard.
I was approached by a woman whose request sounded strange. She really wanted to become head of the Department in which worked for a long time, but never found the courage to talk to my boss and Express themselves. She was embarrassed that she used to create the image of a certain amoeba. this wordless performer, often not voicing his opinion. It was noticed in the team. But inside her seething passion. She told me that often, coming home, puts on something that dares to wear to work. Yes, I said that this lady only 30. But she has definitely learned that you can not stand, do not insist that it is desirable to be silent and invisible. Like who? Correct as her mother and grandmother. Turns out that women in her family did not feel secure, because they do not have men, so the best strategy was silence on yourself and your needs. Our heroine was a lack of confidence by inheritance. But in fact, the main sense of this family was the fear that did not allow you to Express yourself, to be yourself, to Express yourself. It is fear that made it impossible for the men in this family, decent work and the discovery of their own needs each of these women.
that got a legacy this woman. And here is one question from me, could give answers to many questions: what would You be if felt in his Own strength?
-I would be different. Bright. Confident. Eye-catching. It is in me. I always felt it. This light, which was hidden under a mask of mediocrity. I was always afraid to Express themselves. If I ever dared to do it, and I've thought about it, my relationship with my closest would be immediately interrupted. But I would find a replacement - I wasn't sure. But while I couldn't give myself the will to try to be different.
We agreed small, not traumatic steps to show their "other side." It was safe, but very effective. In a strange way and my mother and grandmother started to support a woman compliments about her new look, and participated in the selection of outfits. It gave a lot of effort and very encouraging.
Thinking over this situation, I came up with the idea that each has potential. Only one he opened, others closed. Closed different circumstances of life. And usually not with their circumstances, and others. And no matter how we tried to jump our childhood - the origins from there. Yeah, I'm not going to say that every child can make happy. But I'm pretty sure if you point a spotlight at a certain deficit, if you detect the needs, and assign a Power of Shadow - life changes. Yes! That is changing. And if You're hiding the best quality belonging to the Shadows, now is the time to get to know them, and assign. for Your own benefit.