Chapter 1

Part1. My child, my mother

Be the mother of his mother — something that can happen to any of us, when the time comes for parents to age and become dependent.br>
the grown up children will take care of their ancestors. There may come a time when a daughter feels that becomes a parent for one of the parents. But it fits in the scheme of things, it is clear that we need to help parents when they are no longer capable of autonomy. Even harder if the son or daughter has not visited parents for their children, and become parents for parents...br>
When the child becomes the Savior of his mother

When the parents are weak, sick, bad physical and psychological state, the child can take the place of functional (approx. pens.) father or mother. For example, when young they took care of brothers and sisters or was responsible for the administrative or financial aspects of family life, those working to support parents. br>
it often can be observed in immigrant families: children often become more adapted to life in a new country than their parents. So young Kader, son of an illiterate Moroccan worker, filled in for him, all the administrative paper at home. As happens in such cases, an increase in younger, senior to accept their support.br>
Although it is less obvious, the same happens when parents are psychologically unstable, immature, suffer from depression or mental disorders. The child becomes "parentification" ("parentifie") , i.e., the child executes the parent function (- approx.pens.). br>
He feels "in place" parents and manages the family from the height of his experience, sometimes very lacunar. So Matilda was looking for a job for his mother, when she was not yet 8 years old. She read the ad and called to schedule an appointment. At a young age such a big responsibility requires courage, resourcefulness and good moral character.br>
Often, these children, growing up, become guardians, people in the helping professions or social workers. They are so used to caring for others, which is quite natural, that they are doing their job.br>
There are still children who become parents to their own mothers as adults physically, continue to remain children, the same as the oppressed in your childhood.

the Collapse may be linked with external circumstances, with the loss or the disorder that took place during the birth of a child.br>
But it can also occur for reasons intrinsic to the mother (postpartum depression, depression or masked melancholy).br>
Then the child is faced with a mother whose maternal skills are not sufficient. br>
Imbued with the pain of the mother the child can hold, to soothe, to cheer the woman in difficulty. It is difficult to see because the kid cares about his mother not financially, but mentally becomes a Rescuer (on the theory of the triangle of Karpman).br>
to be Continued...

Freedom from toxic relationships. Introduction