the Human psyche is arranged in such a way that the most important beliefs about themselves, about the world and how the world relates to us, we learn in childhood. From birth to teenage crisis we are going through the stages of formation of ideas about themselves, the limits of their body and personality, their abilities, desires and responsibilities. We learn cultural traditions and behaviors of our society.
the Completion of identity formation is the adolescent crisis, which works in two ways:
- the formation of ideas about yourself, as a representative of a gender and sexual object – is formed by a function and the possibility of reproduction.
- separation of his personality from the personality of the parent – separation. That is, one acquires and fulfills the skills of independent thinking, decision-making, etc.
Then, a person lives based on the views that he has learned. The brain to save energy will adhere to these rules and behavior programs, and evaluate the world according to the learned material. Changes in the way the world will already be possible only through a deep rethinking of their views and feelings.
it so Happens that ideas about the world, learned in childhood, are in conflict with reality. br>
I usually his clients bring this illustration: imagine that the child from infancy showing the color red, saying it's green. We exactly learn colors – show us the color and name it. And so grows the man, who is the color called red is called green. In the end, he and the people around him, referring to one and the same color will always argue about his name.
eventually, the person begins to look for and attract those who will agree with his view of the world and who would this color be called green. So peaceful. So the brain works. Any changes in the image of the world and view of himself is extremely energy consuming. The brain does not like this and will fight for their view of the world to the last. br>
According to this principle, people choose their environment – one that confirms their world view. And if you child is called stupid, it also eventually will choose your environment, confirming your words.
that is why we so hard to change eating habits, imbibed in his childhood, his attitude to himself or to other people. Another way to feel the world and myself in it. And this is one of the aspects of my work. I help the client to reframe their experience and to align what he feels, what he thinks he should feel and what he wants to feel.