did you ever reproach the words "Yes, you're selfish/selfish. Just think of yourself" or, perhaps, you are reproached: "Not too much, I allow myself?" Scared if you hear such words in the address? Aren't you afraid that someone will suspect you that you are doing something only for yourself, for example, buy a cake, while the other members of your family sitting on a strict diet or going to the cafeteria, leaving the children at home? Haunts you with guilt when you begin to take care of yourself, because mom/dad/friends/aunt Val/ hungry children in Africa/ and other suffer so much? If these disturbances are familiar to you, then this article is for you.
I want to talk about what selfishness is, as it manifests itself, is it so awful to be selfish and is there any measure selfish behavior. Under egoism understand the behavior that pursues personal gain, the implication is that by acting selfishly, we put their interests above others. And the question naturally arises: whether to put the interests of others above their own, for who should do this and why? I think that the answer to this question much depends.
There is a perception in our society is the belief that selfish to be bad. But this is not true. Is rational egoism and situations in which to exercise it. Imagine that you are sitting on the interview for your dream job. You like the post, promise an excellent salary and corporate benefits like VHI and gym paid. But next to you sits another person, who also lays claim to this position, and can get it only if you refuse my offer. And if you think to act in their own interests is immoral, then give him his place. But just why would you do that? What benefits it will bring you and another person? Is it reasonable behavior? It is foolish to give up their place just because someone else wants it to. What you will undo years of work and study, their work? Another need? And you know exactly? Or just want someone to admire your nobility?
Although less likely is a "sacrifice" like the nobility, rather stupid. Such actions are impulsive and short-sighted, to expect gratitude or confession for them is not worth it. People generally doubt and distrust those who are willing to give to others and free, who live only to help others, and in any case doesn't care about himself. And such fears are not in vain, because usually "altruistic" sacrificing themselves for others, neglect not only their own, but often the needs of their loved ones and children, leaving those without their time, finances, and everything else. And what their children are worse than those they helped? But for the contribution to my family praise, and for helping the society to get recognition or anything else.
Saying, "I don't need anything, I'm ready to give everything, if only you were good, but I'm already here I will make it work", we sometimes lie to themselves. Because to be honest, we do a lot based on their interests and needs, even if you do not notice this. It so happens that even choosing a gift for a friend, trying to get our gift was the best, useful, interesting, to be then recalled and said: "Ah! As you guessed! This is exactly what I wanted!". Our benefit and interest, at times, inseparable from many of our actions, is this not selfishness?
Man is inherently selfish. Up to 2 years we believe that the world revolves only around us. We are all powerful in our children's provision, life, death, the mood and happiness of other people – it all depends on us. In childhood we think that we affect all. And then? That's how one turned out.
to Be selfish is fine. And how to forget what you want to eat or have a headache?
Think of yourself, take care of yourself this is normal. Who are you on the verge of nervous and physical exhaustion can help? Ignoring their needs, we come to what we ourselves need saving. A healthy rational egoism implies that you know their needs and are capable of their own to satisfy them. Please note that the healthy ego involves your active participation in the fulfillment of their desires: if you want something go make it happen.
But there is another selfishness. Is it mean, when you try to rebuke with the words - Yes, you're selfish! This kind of selfishness is confident that the needs you have. And uncle Peter from next door needs to move and give you a Parking space. Why? You do need to. And his ruin long ago to the dustbin should be getting. So selfish outraged: how mom and dad left on vacation? And who is going to help repair to do? What about me?!
this way of life "give me everything", in the end, leads to loneliness and inner dissatisfaction, because such selfishness is impossible to saturate.
all extremes are harmful, it is not necessary to remove from itself the last shirt, but we should not drag her with another person because you have decided that you need. Selfishness can be wise, rational and far-sighted. Learn to take care of yourself! Learn to see their needs and begin to appreciate the needs of others. Live, not forgetting about themselves, but not ignoring others.