let me Start with two statements.

Above this is quite a simple statement, which, however, almost universally come across the internal limiting beliefs.

Think.

You can contain your anger in a relationship because you were taught in childhood, because your anger can potentially hurt your partner or be the beginning of the conflict. Although the anger only means that your boundaries have been violated.

You can keep your contempt in the relationship because you love/respect/appreciate the person beside him. And you don't want the person to offend or lose. But situational contempt just means that your opponent is worse than you in anything in the current situation.

You can control your fears and anxieties because they are not confident that you understand support or will be able to cope even with your fears. Or you can "lose face", to show weak, you will get a negative label. Although the fear and anxiety only means that you do not have enough resources and you need help (well, or escape from the situation).

You can restrain their grief, loneliness or boredom, as it does not want to "load" the other person. Or because you want to see around you (and yourself) only positive mood and positive people. And also don't want your partner took your mood to your account. Or started trying to do something to remedy the situation.

You can control your positive emotions and feelings (joy, love, interest) as your loved one it is difficult and he is not ready to engage you in an emotional exchange. Or because he's tired. Or need privacy.

You can control your emotions yet for many different reasons. But! You can try to change this state of Affairs. In short,

How to organize the exchange of emotions

Another important to justify to your partner the idea that all your emotions are a product of your brain, your psyche. That is when you experiencing, for example, anger is your boundaries violated. And you want to say. Or if you feel contempt For man, this does not mean that a person is bad or worse than you. You only believe that people are worse than you understand the current situation. That is, it is important to convey the message "my emotions are my inner feelings".

it is Still important to convey the idea that you don't need saving and to do something for you at the moment of expression of your emotions. You just listen to the in your face enough to nod. Or, say, to hold your hand. While here, you already do can be creative.

finally, it is important to emphasize that the appearance of partner anger, counter-contempt, guilt, or anxiety symptoms of the fact that his defense was broken. And then it makes sense to stop and help the partner (even when you still, to put it mildly, not ice because of your initial experiences). Why? Yes, because this behavior is an investment in your deep sharing of emotions in the future. Ideally, of course, to focus the partner on the idea – "if my emotions are bad for you – ask for help" ... Well, and occasionally ask "You like? Holding up?"

to be honest, when you have taken care to organize the process of expressing emotions in a relationship with a specific person, then it is not particularly important how you Express your emotions. Yes, better to do it in the first person (proactive), and focus on what you want to do. For example. I'm still angry. And I want to punch you. Because I wish you were closer to me. Or I'm sad and suffer because I want more care about me. And again. When you Express emotions, remind that it is important for you to listen to you. Immediate action is required. Here you can Express emotions – can start cooperation and common plans.

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