Step 1. Take the research position.
Tantrums could indicate 2 things:

1) There is unmet need. What is it?
2) the experiences of the child, he himself is not able to cope with their feelings (containerevent them). What emotion is that? br>
to Deal with tantrums, to find out exactly the cause, helping research position, which goes something like this:

"My child is now bad. I need to find the cause." br>
this will Help in monitoring the baby and checking assumptions through conversations with him, and educators. br>
Step 2. In communicating with the child to give priority to discussion of feelings.

— are You depressed?
— are You tired?
— You're sad without a mother?
are You afraid to stay with the teacher?
— are You offended?
— You feel unwanted/abandoned?
— You're afraid I won't come for you?
— are You too shy to ask the teacher?
— You waited a long time for me in kindergarten and now you're mad at me?
— You want me you regret it? br>
Add this element to your everyday conversation with your child, along with questions about how Affairs went, what they ate, what I learned. br>
When your words resonate in the soul of a child, the feeling of "hear me, understand me". The need is no longer in hysterics. br>
Step 3. Find out what problems can cause a child sustained an unwillingness to go to kindergarten.

the Rise.

— is there Enough sleeping child? br>
According to experts on child sleep, in 3 years the night dream of the child must be at least 10-11 hours. Day — 1-2 hours. Total continuation of sleep a night is 12 hours. For example, if the child goes to sleep at 21: 00, gets up at 7.00, in the garden sleeps 2 hours is good. If falling asleep at 23.00, gets up at 7.00 and in the garden sleeps 40 minutes — sleep child per day is 3.5 hours. Even 30 minutes total of sleep per night can affect his mood, well-being and self-control ability, when the child does not experience. br>

— does the menu of the kindergarten at least some food that the child likes to eat? br>
Many children do not like gravy and vegetables. Is there a possibility not to mix on the plate unloved products with those that a child can basically eat? For example, to pour chicken gravy and pour it next to "not contaminated" to a pulp? br>
— Forced to eat everything on the plate, or you can eat only what you like? br>
Excessive pressure in nutrition on the part of teachers can cause a lot of stress in a child. br>
Day dream

— Allow you child to take to bed favorite toy brought from home or she remains in the group? br>
— do Read a book before bed? br>
— whether to Allow "just lie down" or insist that he closed his eyes and slept? br>
Toy house

— Allow you to bring in a group of house toys? br>
If Yes, then is really whether the child has access to the toy or its "withdraw" because the kids are fighting, and give up just before leaving home? br>

— is There free access to the toilet or need to ask?
— do you Need help to the child to wipe his ass, or cope on your own?
— does the child, to whom and how to contact if "accident" and need to change panties?
— Toilet paper free to access or clean up, so the kids have not played?
— In the group of bowls or a pot? The usual way is this kid? br>
Clothing in the group on the street

— Like and comfortable child the clothes in which he is in the group and go for a walk?
— is it Easy to change clothes and the shoes on their own? br>
Maybe there is a t-shirt with narrow neck, rubbing tights, or falling pants, which deliver the child discomfort and ruining the mood in kindergarten? Whether it is easy to buttoning, buttons, zippers, Velcro, cope with ties, laces and pull stropki on shoes ? Or is it a constant source of stress? br>
Socializing with peers

— does the child how to meet the children and start playing together?
— Remember whether the child, the name of the guys in the group?
— Started to play in playing together or kept apart?
— Can ask for a toy?
— whether to wait your turn?
— Knows how to behave, if you select a toy and name-call, fight? br>
Relationships with teachers

— to see if a favorite caregiver with whom the child is comfortable?
— is There a caregiver, nanny or teacher (Mus.owner, physical hands) that something unpleasant or frightening the child? br>
requests assistance

— Safely if the child feels if you have to ask the teacher or ask for help? br>
Some children experience fear when you need something to ask. br>
- What is the caregiver pushes child? br>
Sometimes by nature a loud voice or the individual manner of communication makes kids dislike for adults. br>
As you can see, the list of areas in which the child will have to adapt and develop new habits, is quite large. br>
the New situation and the relationship comes to child like an avalanche — fast and strong. Therefore, he needs the help of parents to organize a comfortable environment for adaptation. How to do it, read the next step. br>
If you have experience solving similar problems, please share in the comments, what are the reasons for the reluctance to go to kindergarten you have found your kids and how did you solve them? Sometimes difficulties can be quite obvious. br>
Step 4. Discuss with the child and caregivers what is possible to think of a way out of existing problems.

Ask the child what he could to help you feel better (not so alone, abandoned, a stranger) while you are not there. Perhaps this toy is the mascot of the house. Action-a ritual before a farewell or before the meeting. Something else? br>
Explain to your child the rules of communication with peers and teachers. br>
tell him you're always on the side of the child and be sure to talk with educators and help them solve any difficulties. br>
Talk with the teachers and clarify all the details that caused you concern or was doubtful after talking with the child. Not all the responses of kids in this age need to be taken at face value. Therefore, it is important for you to make an objective picture of different sources of information: communication with the child, questions to the educators about the child, observation of child, information from other moms whose children attend the group. br>
After you more or less understand the reason for persistent unwillingness of the child to go to kindergarten and discomfort, discuss what steps can educators make within the framework of their duties and the rules of the children's institutions? br>
for Example, in the kindergarten have no right to impose a food that the child likes, but to ask the nurse not to put a piece of beet in the middle of the purée, that it is not "dirty" all the food — is quite real. You can remove the responsibility from the teachers for the safety of toys, which the child brings from home, and thereby to obtain a permit. br>
In communicating with teachers it is desirable to keep the friendly tone, i.e. to make a request in the format of "would you..." instead of position "you must, You shall." This greatly increases the chances that the problem will be solved. br>

Anna Kolesov
practicing psychologist
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Anna Kolesova
Статья выложена в ознакомительных целях. Все права на текст принадлежат ресурсу и/или автору (B17 B17)

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