The aggressor or researcher?


Good afternoon! My child started having problems. I can't cope with his aggression. Son not yet a year, and I'm already lost, don't know what to do. He now this age, he climbs everywhere. For example, reaches the outlet and sticks to your fingers, I see and say it is impossible! It starts immediately hysterical scream if I beat it. Fists will clench, screams at me, tears - a fountain. The socket is dangerous, how to protect your child from this danger and others if he's on the ban reacts so violently?

not to get lost in educational situations with a small child, it is necessary to establish the correctness of their actions. You are firmly convinced that forbid the fact that are unable to solve? So, calmly and confidently deny. The child will respond to Your hardness and calm - for him this is a signal that mom knows what she's doing, you need to obey.

Another thing is that in Your example the outlet is not so clear. Manipulation of the socket threat. However, to thrust in the socket the finger even a small child is quite problematic. Another thing, if in the hands of a child a long metal object, like a knitting needle, or wire, then the circuit can be arrange... Although probably difficult to imagine a child who has not yet reached year, with these items in hand - this is a violation of safety. Besides, if the socket is dangerous, why there are no stubs, if she is in a place of baby's reach? These considerations confront us with many questions concerning the organization of the safe space for a child of appropriate age.

Then, in Your "no!" sounds not so much and not so much the prohibition is addressed directly to the child, how much of a nuisance to yourself or others that do not care about safety. The child is reacting with outrage: someone is not prepared, and I should limit his thirst for knowledge!

The easiest in Your situation is to go to the room with the audit and clean annieoakley things about the height of 130 centimeters. The "vertical lifestyle" is the most easy and affordable way to solve several challenges facing the family almost one year old baby. Child to develop his cognitive interest, to engage in the study of the world, parents are called to ensure the safety of this process. With a child this age is quite problematic to negotiate - it's either aggressive ban, or a permanent shift, and then, and another requires a constant and persistent monitoring by someone from adults. Creating a safe space and allows the child to develop in accordance with their needs, not the adult keeps in constant tension: what threat could fall into the hands of the child - nothing dangerous, just interesting... Disappears soil for the conflict - in demonstrations of aggression, there is no need.

With this approach, if for no other reason that supports the hysterical behavior of the child, the tantrums will go away pretty quickly. When it comes, "No reason", I mean the following:

  1. quiet Home atmosphere - parents are not yelling at each other, clenching his fists. Here, perhaps, more important than outside - no one shouts at the child, and the internal one between the parents prevails friendliness and understanding.
  2. Hysterical child does not bring the desired result. If suddenly in sight of the child was unwanted or even dangerous thing and mom says "no!", so, a child under any circumstances and their actions will not receive this item, he hysteria will not help.
  3. One of the parents gets her screaming. Correctness is not established by the power of the vocal cords.
  4. Parental "no" sounds relaxed and confident.

Then anything not supported by the behavior model will come to naught. The child is experimenting with his Arsenal of behaviors - tantrums on the contrary it will have a big minus - does not work!

Berdnikova Anna
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