The beginning of a relationship with a manipulator: the honeymoon period Part II


This article is a continuation of the first part where I talked about the beginning of a relationship with a manipulator (Narcisse, abuterol). In the previous part I described the first three signs that you may notice on the first date with a man today, I will present four. The following symptoms You may find as on the first date, and in the process of further communication.

4. "the Prosecution, stigmatization, generalization of"

- if you ask the manipulator the reasons of rupture of a previous relationship, often can hear the flow of unflattering statements about the former partner/partner, allegations of relationship breakup. From the game controller you can also hear such phrases as: "all women are materialistic", "from me all need only money", "everything changes", "all men polygamous", "you can't trust anyone", etc. Often such accusations and generalizations are the projection of the manipulator to other people associated with their own unconscious intrapersonal conflict. Bringing to You such information, the manipulator tries to drive You into the framework, thereby expecting that You will start to prove that they will behave differently. This kind of manipulation may work in situations where You liked. If before meeting with the manipulator You had completely different beliefs, but after his words, You began to agree with him, you should listen and ask yourself the question, do You really think so, too, previously thought or is it triggered manipulation.

5. "a Filling in Your personal space"

in the beginning of a relationship with a manipulator, You may notice that You have almost no free time without him. You are constantly, twenty-four hours a day you just do the texting or talk on the phone. Also You can discover that the manipulator is very annoying invades your personal space, it can be a very active interest in who is calling You, You are dealing with someone besides him, he can ask to tell You about the former. You can hear seemingly harmless jokes towards Your friends and her friends. All these signs point to the fact that before You pathologically jealous, which over time will transform Your life in the "ghetto".

6. "Emotional buildup"

this form of manipulation is a recurrent and sudden appearance and disappearance in Your field of view. This behavior can be justified by the fact that the person is very busy and he decided, for example, problems at work. Today, for example, You walk, You give flowers and compliments, and tomorrow You don't call, and it may continue, for example a week, and when this arm is either not answering or answering in monosyllables and cold. Periods the workload happen to everybody, but you should pay attention to the sharpness and frequency of changes in relationship to You. Therefore, the manipulator tries to make You emotional a needle when You were so good with him, and after his disappearance starts breaking.

7. "Praise himself / humbled himself"

- as I mentioned in the first paragraph, the manipulators with narcissistic injury extremely low self-esteem, so he constantly needs to surround him positively reflected. If this does not happen, or manipulator, it seems that is not enough, you can be in one of two ways: either he begins to strongly praise himself, or begins to cause pity stories about how nobody understands how he had bad luck in life, etc. Are the manipulators that use only the first method, there are those who choose the second. And there are those who are constant changes from praise to humiliation. In this case, the marker may be Your own feelings close to the manipulator. In the first case, You may have a sense of inferiority, while in normal life You have such feelings are rare. In the thief case, You can Wake up the desire to "save", to regret, something to help. The third option may cause anger and confusion.

Maybe it's not all features, which You may find in the beginning of the relationship. If You can add, please write in the comments what You notice. This article is intended not so much to ensure that You could "podstelit straw" in dealing with manipulators, many intended to You develop your own awareness and observation skills in dealing with people. Pay attention to any signals your body, when you only meet and begin to chat. If in the process of communication You begin to experience emotional exhaustion, dizziness, nausea, a feeling of changed reality, it is necessary to be extremely attentive to such signals. After all, our body is never cheating, it is "intermediary" between the internal and external world.

Also, we often hear from their customers that they attract people who are caring in this way, with others it's just boring. Then it is necessary to deal with their own motives to start this kind of relationship, to know that You are "clinging" that causes You to ignore these external and internal bells. In this, as nothing better will help You psychotherapy.

More to consider your situation, You can have me at the reception:

in person in Warsaw tel.+48 500 48 21 48 and online on skype: na_tallia

Sitnikova Natalia
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