The bitter parting with infantilism

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In the present long-term psychotherapy, you are doomed to one big and loud parting with their own infantilism. Warn that can be painful, because it's an amputation of something childish, cranky, sore and bruised. But to live in infantilism more painful, and you probably do know or are secretly aware of it.



having Started his own psychotherapy in the cognitive-behavioral approach, I was initially ready for a significant time and financial investment. I knew that a good therapy can't happen for 1-2 times and cost "nothing". And even if she was worth nothing, I wouldn't be able to treat it with all responsibility and seriousness. Therefore, the decision to invest in private therapy was one of my steps from infantilism to adulthood. And already from the first sessions, I realized that an investment in my own mental health, as well as any investment in health at all, begins to slowly but surely pay off.

I must say that infantilism is not bad. The injured child's mind, filled with fears and covered by compensatory protections, the phenomenon is clear and the calling I now have much more compassion than irritation. To hold on to their fears and protection, or to go to the doctor (a psychologist) and put to light their wounds, everyone decides for himself, as they grow older. Does this mean "setting the light" change? What happens when not perceived by us automatic thoughts (thoughts of darkness) become voiced in the psychologist's office? If they sounded once, it is probably a lot in your life will not change. But if the attention of the psychologist (and your) returns to them again and again, they become quite obvious, and now you can put them into question.

Affirmations on a sheet of paper is too easy. And they often don't work because contrary to automatic thoughts with years of experience of existence. For this reason, provide only temporary relief different types of newfangled therapies quick transformations, quantum jumps in consciousness, etc. Can you oppose a strong perennial oak tree, hidden in the shade, wind-borne seed of a dandelion? "A dandelion will grow, you just have to believe in it" - will tell you coaches and motivational speakers. Yes, he can and will grow, but in the garden of your consciousness will remain the main centuries-old oak tree, and lean back (and all life), you are on it. Therefore need to deal with in the first place.

Signs of infantile consciousness can be:

1) unwillingness to resolve adults problem: to build a house, raise a son, plant a tree. In other words, to resolve the issue of furnishing your own home, create a family and procreation, as well as professional development.

2) the desire to live nicely at the expense of others

3) the desire to satisfy their needs as fast as possible, going over the heads and not thinking about others and their feelings

4) the reluctance (fear, apparent impossibility) of separation from their parents both in reality (separate accommodation), and in the psychological relation.

5) the desire to have a magician on the blue helicopter for big money and fast solve your problems in life (you already addressed this?)

6) the inability to Express their "like – dislike" in the correct form, without pinching yourself, but without hurting the other.

7) fear to Express their sexuality and avoidance of the opposite sex/serious relationships.

8) the desire for easy money and manna from heaven

9) the charge of life in an unfair situation

10) envy other people's happiness.

11) resentment over the fact that people and their actions don't match your expectation (external locus of control).

12) escape from solving problems in spiritual practices, watching TV shows, computer games, alcoholism, journey around the world... etc, etc..

13) hardness of heart, unwillingness to help people and all living beings, alien indifference to suffering.

14) when it is more important to feel and not to be. The focus on external evaluation, and not on his feelings or opinions.

it Will be interesting if you continue this list. Only emphasize that I do not condemn infantilism and can see its manifestation in myself and in other people. However, I don't want to dance to his tune and feel forever unsatisfied with the child with high requirements, empty dreams and false hopes. Psychotherapy me - and you - to help!

Come for advice, try cognitive-behavioral therapy, I can see its effectiveness and usefulness, as in your example and the example of its customers.

Fedoskina Irina
2018-09-12
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