In the past narcissicism children traumatized individuals often along with other forms of parent relationship, there is masculina demands and dominance of the mother. For successful growth and development of the child essential Eros is the function of the mother, which in this case is distorted, and the masculine qualities of the mother claim child in need of understanding, manipulating, and mastering things.
In this context, Kohut speaks of "optimal frustration" and he believes that above all the inadequate level of empathy from the mother and defetsit of satisfaction leads to alienation. The author attributes the inadequacy of empathy from the mother to the presence of narcissicism problems of her own.
there is a lack of empathy is the incompleteness of motherhood, in which a child is forced to develop surhadarjinsk to external requirements. In this unequal interaction between mother and child the last, filled narcissicism, pruchase to meet the mother. When the child meets the expectations of the mother, she gains a narcissistic satisfaction.
K. G. Yung perfectly described such an exploitation of the child
"Nothing so hinders growth, as attempts of the mother to embody herself in the child, not taking into account that the child is not a simple addition, and a new, separate entity, often endowed with character [...] the reason is that children only come from parents in fact, they came from a generic source."
the adjustment of the child to the mother's expectations and creates self-estrangement. It manifests primarily in emotional disorders: the experience of his senses as not having himself attitude as detached and unreal.
Mother who reacts neumaticas and narcissitic fills the child provides the parent container in order that the child expresses. In order for the child to realize his own way, his true nature, he needs support. In this regard, using the metaphor of the mirror. If the mirror reflects a wrong that the language of psychology, means that the mother wants the child something appropriate to her installations - in this case, the child's perception of self becomes distorted and alien.
Deficit development I functions leads to:
- the loss of the painting itself, and its own borders; it means the fragility internally fixed identity and autonomy
- the loss of authenticity and ethics
- failing to take a position in relation to himself, which leads to a lack of stable.
the Narcissist internally weak, we can say that he has no,.; he has no idea who he is, who he is; doesn't know what it does have is that it is possible to appreciate. In correlation with the internal it I am falling into the void. Because of this, he forced both hands to grasp the external. All that belongs to the Narcissus (children, partner, car, work, etc.), it has special significance, as it replaces him missing.
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