the BABY WANTS
From the call mom of 5-year-old child
After I was told about a group of karate in my club for this age group, she said
- Tell me, do you have the box for this age is?
- No, no box at all, and for this age especially.
- Why do you put emphasis on the fact that: "it is for this age?"
- Because Boxing is a contact sport with punches to the head. For children 5 years of age, only a fool would want such a thing.
- But my baby wants, I would just took to see, and he would understand, maybe (doubtfully).
- And if he wants to look at group sex, or penalty? You would have fulfilled his desires?
wish-fulfillment
Often parents work with their children wish-fulfillment. A little hard to refuse, and allow the possibility. He shall not be worse than others. Toys should be appropriate, not worse, but better than other children. If the mother cannot cope, the grandmother will help. The competition is sometimes off the charts, whose gift is better?
It's understandable. It is for children to judge the parents. But it's not about that, and about the sense of measure.
Obedient mom
those mothers I say:
"Lucky your son and his mother obedient. In my time it was the opposite, I listened, not her me."
parents Often ask these questions:
- Why is he so cranky?
How to react to his tantrum?
- I'm tired of his whines for any reason.
Note, the correct answer with a question!
- Why it was naughty, why whines for any reason, why the hysteria?
Find the cause and correct immediately.
License
the Cause of permissiveness.
- This is a common phrase, we are not particularly concerned you say.
Right, the phrase is General, but accurate and succinct.
"We are brought up in rigor, punish, teach, and even beat sometimes."
Anarchy is not the absence of punishment, the lack of the word "no". Think about it, what you refused him lately? It happens that just said "no", but still complied with the request of a young extortioner.
Even worse, if you punished him, and then I felt bad and encouraged the gift. The child is succeeded, after going through punishment or humiliation. Is it good? That he will be in the head?
" Let me be punished, but anyway, I'll get yours!"
This can become an unwanted habit. And does not contribute to hardening of the nature of the future men.
Manipulations, and adaptations
Man need in life to adapt and cheat in order to succeed. It's true. Take the example of the great generals. One of them without cunning and guile won great battles?
similarly, in chess, only there it is called logic.
the Child should be able to manipulate. So learn his manipulation, not tantrums and complaints.
Tips
These tips relate to younger children (under 5 years).
Limit yourself when you desire to please the child. Treat him as yourself. You have the knowledge and experience, you better know what and what not to your child. If he asks about what is harmful or dangerous, it is not necessary to explain the reason for the refusal, give him something else.
for Example, asks for a coke, give the juice. In the objection, they say, want a coke, tell me that today Cola is this.
for Example, want to watch adult the film, turn on the tale. If he wants to box, get to the gym. Not terrible, if you do not like, most importantly, what he will get, not a simple failure. The child need to give something in return. How can anything explain the reason for refusal, he would not calm down. But when something gets is desired, it is likely that this "another" like him.
But, if you see that particular reason for refusal no, you put your Affairs, hide their desire to lead, just give what he asks.
for Example, wants ice cream, but you don't want to eat it in the car. Stop the car, come along and give him the opportunity to accomplish what you want. But, he wants to eat it in the car, because there more convenient. No, just to go out and eat on the street. It's your rules, not violate them. In this case, the refusal, but there are conditions of performance. You make concessions.
now:
- be Fooled if it will help to avoid trouble and not desirable to the child.
- Manipulate, set conditions for the fulfilment of desires. (But not in all cases).
- Learn to say no to a child, make the whole environment to support you in this. Even if you are right then will understand, apologize and make up. But the child will know the price of your "no."
- not learned not to ask about something, do not deny, unless you have a reason. Use the two words "Yes" and "No" on purpose and by necessity.
CONCLUSIONS
Disclaimer, as well as consent, must be reasonable. It does not bother to explain to the child what he would not understand.
"you'll grow, you'll understand" - stupid answer is hard to find. Talk to him in a language he understands. The waiver must be clear and certain.
response to a particular situation
If you still want a five year old child Boxing or MMA, I would have done so.
Take him to swimming, gymnastics or karate. Without preparation on the box are not taken. And in the morning or in the output would run together with him for a run. Without this is impossible in Boxing. Jogging, swimming, or other type would be called the preparation for the Boxing. It's not cheating – it really Boxing. The movie "rocky ". Do you think the child would like after that to go to a Boxing gym?
when older, years to 12, then he will choose what you like and liking. And let it be Boxing or MMA.
P. S.
This article is intended for parents, thinking about a healthy future for their children. Unfortunately, there are many who realize their sick ambitions through their children. For them, the child involved in a contact sport at a younger age, it is an opportunity to grow as a "great fighter", but not a healthy son. Them this article not necessary to read.