every man's Life does not exclude traumatic events. We are all in motion. In this movement to meet the world and it changes, and sometimes destroys our physical, psychological, and social boundaries. In everyone's life accidents happen (death and illness of loved ones, physical illnesses, loss of physical and mental violence, financial crises, etc.), often not depend on our conscious control. In other words, even if some of them we can influence, we do not control them entirely. In its existence we are closely connected with social processes, family, environment, his own human nature and the nature of the land on which we live and the laws of this world. Many of the processes in which we are traumatic for us, and it is not always possible to predict and change. In this sense, the injury is inevitable. This means the question is not so much how to live this life without trauma and turmoil. Not everything depends on us. And above all, stay alive in many ways, to grow, to find strength and inspiration to be present in this world and realize what is important, having the experience and consequences of traumatic events.
"Life requires movement" claimed Aristotle. "The movement pantry life," wrote Plutarch. And in this movement we encounter sometimes what is not expected. It hurts, and leads to losses. Response to loss of something important - sinking, stop motion, decrease in mobility, flexibility, activity at various levels. This is a protective reaction. The body does not accept the changes, freezes a process, in an attempt to keep the situation in the usual framework. As the primary shock is perfectly natural and even necessary. The difficulty is that after the shock of people in different areas, walks of life remains frozen, slightly movable, passive. This is contrary to life, human nature, which involves movement, an active exchange with the outside world. Pascal said, "the Essence of human nature is in motion. Complete rest is death." So the main objective in working with the injury - the mobility, activity, flexibility, and healthy aggressiveness (in the sense of ability to affect this world, transforming, changing what is important). It is a universal problem for almost any injury.
In his notes, I rely primarily on my experiences injury. After a spinal fracture in the lumbar spine with spinal cord injury I got a flaccid paralysis of the lower extremities. This meant that any movement in the legs, but they were initially inadequate for a walk. Therefore, on the one hand, I almost immediately understood (but didn't realize fully) that walk will I be faced with the task of restoring this function. On the other, I learned that walking as before, unfortunately, I do not Shine. And so the task was compensation of this shortcoming, the development of other skills, such as diplomacy. Indeed, in difficult situations before, it was always possible to escape, at least, or can easily gain distance, and depended less on people. But now only the art of dialogue helps me to keep important connections and gain distance with the unwanted source.
the Difficulty is that with a flaccid paralysis of the physical comes and palsy mental, spiritual, intellectual. Seeing the reality that much does not correspond to your expectations, experience of horror, despair and anger. It is a very painful experience. Therefore pretend that nothing is live. And ignoring feelings is the best way to maintain mental paralysis. To ignore them means to feel pain, and pain in addition makes him mentally (to live, to share with loved ones, to survive), physically and intellectually, to seek appropriate forms of treatment of this pain. I think that this, among other things, the associated common phenomenon "pastravanu" in the age of trauma. A travmatiki shared with me that their psychological growing up is not happening. That is, if the person was before the injury by a student, and after five years of experiencing yourself as a student. What some of it is reflected physiologically in the behavior, habits, reactions, how to resolve difficulties. br>
In his recovery from injury I have identified three, which had in the first half of the year. First period was full of ideas about what the trauma very quickly will pass and I will recover in a short time physically, psychologically and socially. It helped to ignore the horror of hospital life, surgeries, serious losses, but also gave them strength training exercise therapy (therapeutic physical training), which is essential in recovery after my injury. I constantly put myself more time. Now, after three weeks, all to be adjusted... the Desired month and there will be serious progress... Hmm, a couple of months there will be changes... So I fed myself Breakfast, until I realized that I got involved seriously. Break easily and recover very difficult. This requires daily effort, attention, steps into the zone of discomfort and weakness. In the professional sphere was a similar process. First, the colleagues feel sorry for me and did a lot of favors, but then gradually began to ask me respectively my professional level. Well, in my personal life was something similar. My girlfriend was in shock and she had questions for me as a man. When I was faced with the fact that a lot of tasks quickly and it seems they are not resolved, require a lot of effort began second period - depression. I was full of despair, dark thoughts, suicidal tendencies. My supervisor said that I worry about a state that can be called "the twilight of the soul." I started to do physical therapy, frowning thought, but what's the point of trying if to walk as before, I'm not going? Less attention is paid to health, rather formally, take care of yourself, for show than sincerity. Why the body became ill. Feet are constantly moaning as if to remind me: look, we are! I almost gave up. The work is also rather closed and "torpedoed" projects, not starting new, buried old. Almost without noticing it, I was in constant irritation, demanded a lot of attention and some special treatment. He noticed little around people have the same difficulty and each solves its problems. I'm hiding from life's challenges for his tragedy, explaining her own inaction and passive aggression. A little later I had a phrase: "hiding behind the stroller". It means that the person leaves dialogue or conflict, under the guise of something that justifies his misdeeds. People in your life as a of a wheelchair used by a variety of things, which, they think, explain all their troubles (e.g., economic and family crises, unfair politicians, bad parents, difficult childhood, etc.)
Third period I called the period of inspiration. I have experienced the frustration associated with the fact that many of the consequences of my injury will not be resolved overnight. And some will stay with me for life. Meanwhile, it became clear that there are only two roads: the road to life (the inspiration, growth and development, sharing with the world, its strength) and the road to death (isolation, war with the world, regression, repression, self-destruction, fading and tumorogenesis). And like pulling me over for life, because I see in it more of beauty, of curiosity, of mystery, you really want to solve, even if the final answer is not found. As my personal psychologist: "a life worth lived." But on the other hand, there is a proverb: "to live life, not to go". And then you should not expect quick achievements. In General, modern Western culture is more focused on achievement than on the process. It makes us petty, we're in a hurry to get quick profit, losing more. It became clear to me that even if I don't walk like before, the desire to walk and realize their rehabilitation potential is already a great and worthy cause. For their daily activities and the gradual attainment of power and agility of the body, even very far from the norm, I can respect that. I suddenly discovered that in the work I do very difficult area - psychology. Here people have more questions than clear answers. And search instant, cheap solutions can be dangerous. Meanwhile the questions themselves and the fact that I had them to put themselves, and not trying to distance itself quick recipes, are expensive. I had a lot of respect for the experience of colleagues, I realized that they have obtained plenty of work, there is a lot of work. At the same time, they do not fall into pride, and are in the way and constant development, I have much to learn from them. And for that learning I can also respect yourself, even if the case is that master will not bring quick money and fame. I found a lot of gratitude to friends, because they selflessly took care of me in the early period after injury. But then a lot of things I can do myself and even if I don't attain instant independence, but a movement towards greater autonomy in itself is great! Because it at least relieves loved ones, allowing them to get a life. And something I can take care of them.