the Main factor influencing the behaviour of younger pupils, is that it falls into a difficult situation of choice, which entails a contradiction. How does it happen? At preschool age child is used, that you love him just because he is a parent. Entering in school life, this reality is losing its relevance and value. He begins to feel that it began to meet certain requirements, are assessment of his actions and deeds, but sometimes people use different approaches. Therefore, the child needs to perform complex mission of the existence of three parallel worlds: the family, at school, in the company of peers (in the yard or on partitions). And these three worlds are sometimes impose very different requirements, which means changes in behaviour. As a result, there are polar behavior, adaptation, deception, and then forgetfulness, because a lot of the legends for the different members of society.
let us Consider specific features of children's behavior in order to understand the influencing factors and ways to choose the correct response.
- primary school age scientists call the pinnacle of childhood, as the child still retains many of the children qualities such as carelessness, naivety, unaccountable for its actions, look at the adult from the bottom up. But he is already beginning to lose the childlike in communication, behavior, he develops a logic of thinking, their values and attitudes.
- Teaching becomes a key activity, a significant element of life, because in school, the child receives not only knowledge and skills, acquire social status. Thus, the process of self-identity and self-affirmation in society (Who am I? What can? What can and what – not? I differ from others? Is it good or bad for me? How I am or why not take it? etc.).
- Start very explicitly to show inclination and ability, talent for something, clarifies a hobby.
- after school games are still a joy, but they are significantly modified in content, and their time is reduced. The feelings that arise in the course of the game, also have a different color and depth. For example, an active intellectual activity at the lesson and the habit of strong-willed efforts with the homework encourage interest in games with rules, Board and sports games that bring the element of competition, require ingenuity and shape the spirit of competition with peers.
- Continue to develop and role-play games that reflect the observed present-day reality, allow you to create a different space for privacy and exchange of information (stories from transformational computer games and films, the construction and the outperformance of houses / huts made of discarded materials, trips to abandoned buildings and garage buildings, fitting out of my mother's wardrobe of adult clothes and accessories, a sample of the "adult toys"). The game takes on the function of a microcosm for the child where he can come up with your image of an adult and beat it. In this case, you need to understand that the images may be not only different, but also antisocial. The main possibility, which is given in the game is "lifting up", i.e. "as if I'd grown up!". And, then, the child can "pretend" to feel stronger, smarter, cooler, braver, bolder, smarter, etc. than in real life. Here it is necessary to understand what he seeks, whom he wants to imitate, since the ideals can be dangerous for the development of primary school children.
- At this age, children like friends, but don't distinguish anyone in particular and individually. Very attracted to Pets and playing with them, however, to take on the responsibility of caring for them, children still can't, under the supervision and guidance of their parents.
- a Characteristic feature of the younger students (particularly years 9 and 10) is negative ethics, which precedes the positive. For example, it is easier to say what not to do, than make the decision to do something sensible. They can deny with a straight face the opinions of adults, because they do not like "preaching", "lecture", "lecture". Pretending to listen, and actually block the information. If asked to retell what he put in my head, I will not utter a word or say, for example: "I've already forgotten!". It can be noted that manners table manners at this age cannot be considered fine.
- the Physical appearance of the girls and boys are significantly different from each other. In girls there is a rapid maturation and mental development, including hormonal changes. They are rounded and become much larger. In the same period, they begin to attract attention from boys, but encourage them "stupid" ways – Bob, complaining for no reason or lash for adults the degree of guilt, provoke a conflict. Boys, in contrast, maturation is slower, they are still more dabble and play adults - I love to tell jokes, stories, see pictures associated with sexual relations. But at times do not understand the meaning of what pathetically demonstrate to others. Girls confuse the topic even though they want to understand it, acting secretly, so no one could see them.
- unfortunately, children this age tend boorishness, rudeness, wrangling with their parents and even aggression, thus, they show its relevance to them, because they simply do not know how to demonstrate their "maturity", they don't have enough life experience.
the Rules of communication with a child experiencing a crisis of primary school age.
- you Must set clear boundaries, obligations and responsibility for their actions each family member in order for the child to understand that rules are not for him alone. Works best technique of the Treaty, which is compiled jointly by all family members in the evening at the "round table", is written on paper (all the rights and obligations, and penalties) and shall be posted in a conspicuous place. The fines are labour household chores for other family members, and deprivation of entertainment. The main thing is the realism and mutual consent of all family members.
- it is Important to observe the balance of love and seriousness: not to put baby on his head or, conversely, not to criticize his personality, and calmly his position and stand his ground. If he is guilty, then evaluate only a behaviour or a bad deed, explaining that it is unacceptable, but in any case not to go on ridiculing or bullying, humiliation or name calling. This will only aggravate the situation and your son or daughter away from you, if not forever, then certainly long term.
- Teach your child to take responsibility for their actions and to make decisions. This is the way to conscious adulthood and preparation for later life. "I thought you could handle it, but you have the whole week went in the morning and not very well taught lessons, and that means I'll have to say good night, to Wake up, to remind all that little! But I believe that you've thought about it and we can try again!" here is an example of the right tone and turn of phrase adequate parent. Thus, you hand your child independence, but you can pick it up, explaining that apparently he is not yet matured.
- In case of conflict with the child does not need to "off" (to leave the room, slam doors, say, "What will you become?!"), and just quietly continue to go about their household chores. Your son or daughter is more useful to see not a strict parent, and person who knows what is right, but refuses to fight, which silently says, "your move", "you know how to do that." This means that adult not at war, and wisely tries to let go, but only for a time, to calm things down and with fresh thoughts continued the conversation.
- In extraordinary situations, try to surprise. Say, do or ask about something absolutely not, as anticipated, would your behavior child. Be unusual and unpredictable. Keep in your Arsenal of jokes, ironic statements, aphorisms, phrases from movies and cartoons, short song line.
- Use restrictions use only in critical cases (involvement in asocial group or a sect, cigarettes, talking about suicide), but in this case, you need to offer an alternative, together to get involved in something modern and relevant to youth subculture.
- Become a son or daughter, first of all, friend! Discuss plans, interesting life situations, share information, try to talk on the positive aspects of life. And if you want to be on the same page, then just listen and not only speak for yourself.
I Wish You success in the education of children and harmony in the relationship! Be happy in their own way!
Your therapist, Catherine Agafonova.