The cure for shame


Shame is, by its nature, is a fear of evaluation, which is based on the fear of isolation. It is a social emotion, one that is never beneficial to the individual, but useful to society. Forming a person a sense of shame or guilt, society ensures its handling. And since society is the condition for survival of man as social creatures, the emotion of shame (along with guilt) is one of the most painful for a person.

So I ordered the evolution, I will not challenge her competence.

the company acknowledges that subtly manipulates man. For example, in Russian folklore it is read through contradictory Proverbs. On the one hand, shame is seen as useful:"dashing the eyes of shame does not take", "in whom shame, and conscience","the children are punished by shame, and not the storm and the beach","shame and disgrace,
who went to the enemy". But on the other hand, there is an understanding that man don't need him "shy from the table hungry rises". "shame not smoke, do not eat the eyes,""wife to be ashamed of - children do not see."

That is, in the broad social sense of shame - the emotion is ambivalent. What is called "what grandpa shame that Baba laughing".And still occurs sometimes in the personal evolution of man so that the shame becomes extremely harmful to him,
when shame becomes toxic.

Toxic shame is fear of shame. When a person is afraid to do something or
to say, because sure in advance that his actions will be negatively evaluated by others. And I am sure people in this because the toxin of shame, grossly violated his value system, and people began to think of myself as a whole one big mistake. That is not my actions caused laughter and condemnation, and I did. This
pathology of values arises when a society goes too far in raising handling. And it happens, we understand, in childhood, when the person is still absolutely critical to society according to objective circumstances, it is vitally dependent.

And that's the kind of modesty can be considered malignant. And from such modesty in need of a cure.

it would be so: he swallowed a pill and... what exactly will happen?
When you prinimaetet paracetamol, you know exactly what it does: reduces temperature, removes fever, and headache. What was going to happen, what the mechanism of action of a tablet in releasing the person from toxic shame?

In my opinion, the first thing is to give the pill - she should help the man to separate himself from his feelings. In this moment useful is the concept of shame as a three-part process contact in Gestalt psychology.

the Second tablet should give social approval,because the shame is the perception of social disapproval.

the Third is that she should be able to find and formulate their own values that a person has,but because of its uncritical social while out of his awareness.

I Believe that not in the distant future, the tablet will appear.
And to try, how she would act, I suggest  now with the help of metaphorical associative cards:

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