it is Impossible to develop the ability to get yourself by itself, just like that, while you have someone (or something) first to get some time. Simply put, the need, the need. It may be need in the form of starvation or cold duty (moral or monetary), penalties and fines. But if not necessary, then you will be sitting as the Negro under a palm tree from a joke, to which came the owner and tried to persuade him to do banana business. What the Negro reasonably replied that he was so well.
the Europeans have evolved faster than Africans because they were pushed to this need, the need to deal with the cold ("winter is coming") and many neighbors with whom to negotiate and conduct diplomacy in a small space. It was the first part – biological factors is necessary.
the Second part – socio-cultural factors is necessary. Here poverty is the will of nearby people who you are forced to do something for their goals. The first makes in the life of any human being is parents.
Historical digression: I've been interested in the theme of wild children (feral child), which was grown animals, i.e. no contact with civilization. Thanks to this thread I realized a very important thing: people do not fall under the influence of human culture, incapable of thinking, and hence to the analysis, planning, modeling future, that hard training, ability to speak, Express their thoughts, not to mention full integration into society. And of course, he is not able to force myself for the sake of some problem to act, he only reacts to reality, as do animals. Historical facts show that 100% of these children are unable to learn normal speech, was ill-adapted, and died. Mowgli and Tarzan is fiction, people do not ways to learn to be human from animals.
it follows a couple of important conclusions:
Conclusion 1: People who were not under the influence of other people since childhood, is not able to be disciplined and acting for the sake of meaningful goals. At all. In principle.
Conclusion 2: Parents are our first external stimulation for the development of the discipline. They set the direction, direction, forcing us to do something useful from their point of view, and promise consequences: rewards or punishments. They teach us speech, develop thinking require a certain way to act. To fulfill the promises. It is good to learn. Wash dishes and clean up after themselves. To be honest. To build a career. Or not force, and discipline is not developed. Especially to the discipline affected father, and I wrote about it in a separate post.
What to do if parents "didn't" discipline? Of course, it is pointless to blame them. They did what they could, now all that remains is to act. But if I said earlier that it is impossible to become disciplined on your own?
the easiest option to hire a virtual "father" — coach. The coach is psychologically father figure, that is, the person who replaces the father, forcing you to act and teach what he knows. It trainers in adult conscious age give a person the external stimulation, discipline, which then becomes an internal, personal habit, ability to set goals in a particular region. It trainers give a tremendous growth in every sphere, and this is why rich people surround themselves with coaches of all types for rapid development.
What to do if the coach has no money? Create yourself the conditions in which you have significant external figure (similar to coach), punishment and condemnation which will be painful for you – it could be your woman reputable friend or counselor, a friend with whom you argue. Tell them about your plans, then implement the admiration and respect for you will grow, and if a failure – you will feel strong shame and hostility, and your reputation will fall. This gives you an incentive to not to merge.
Another excellent external cultural stimulus are public promises of the Declaration (for those who are familiar with BM). Or just write in social networks in the style of "I promise for the next 2 months to lose 10 pounds and to post photos of sportal". In this case, the important figure will be the social group of your friends, who you read and who may sue for the unfulfilled promises.
I myself use these techniques – once she read my reports and I was very ashamed not to do the tasks that I had planned. I now write publicly promises about how I will be N days to write articles, what courses and when will I hold, and cling me much harder. And the more I promise these things to others, the easier it becomes for me to do inside for yourself, and the less over time, I need external stimuli.
the only Question is whether there is a meta-skill that allows you to always and in all areas to be disciplined, and whether you can hire such a coach? It remains to be seen. At first I thought it was impossible, but the more you work with your customers, and the more you train discipline myself, the more I realize that such a skill could exist. To be continued.