The hand that rocks the cradle


Recently, on one of the forums in social networks, which communicate with each other "mommy", there was a rapid discussion of the working conditions and salaries, and the exorbitant demands of nurses working in shifts. Let me explain. This is when the nurse works, say, two weeks, then rest for two weeks. At this time a second nurse.

One of my colleagues, let's call it I., took part in the discussion. She wrote that for the child it is bad and explained why. In response, we received a lot of angry messages. She asked us to speak on this occasion.

the Dispute arose among colleagues working in the same approach. As they say, everyone has their own truth.

Someone was talking about working mothers who are forced to hire a nanny for the baby. Someone that some moms are afraid to hire a woman, because the child begins to love her more than his own mother. For them it is safer to have a series of rotating nannies. "The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world!"

I. explained that the forum was not talking about the welfare of children and that this is a necessary measure. Only discussed salaries and where to find staff cheaper.

now that I think about it.

this story has an important point. The motive for the birth of the child. As procreation? As a natural fruit of love between two people, when you see yourself or traits of the loved one in this ball? Or as a means to keep near him a rich man status ("alimony has not been canceled?")

the Birth of a child responsible and important step. At least for the next year the mother does not belong, it is necessary to remember. Without the mother the baby is not alive, it gives him a sense of security, creates a basic trust in the world.

in the middle of last century in the scientific literature was described by the so-called "hospital syndrome" when the kids in the orphanages, fed, clean, relatively healthy, died. It turned out that Babysitting them during the day, fit only to dress and feed, the rest of the time they lay in Cribs alone. Children actually die from boredom. Scientists watching babies, made findings that the child needs not only a formal concern, but communication with them that love him man. Later D. Bowlby, studying special emotional contact of mother and child, gave him the name "attachment".

Well, if motherhood is a conscious, when the woman is ready to changes in her life after the birth of the child. Yes, it happens that the mother is forced to leave earlier for work. You can understand what a woman wants to make a career, to education but still need to take into account the needs of the child.

He still could say nothing, only protesting cry or diseases, but the separation from my mother at the age of two (according to some sources up to three years) leads to the problems in the future. Besides the complicated relationship with her mother, and the difficulty in establishing contacts, difficulties in family life, fear of rejection, entomophobia. May appear more of a deep personal violation. All consequences of the fact that because of the separation with the mother of the child violated the attachment.

the Attachment can be formed not only to mother but also to the person who replaces her or spends more time with the child father, grandmother, nanny. It is important that it be a permanent entity.

Another example of the consequences of separation from the mother (only for a few days!) the old documentary "John," he is on the Internet. Mom in the hospital, John is in the House baby, where replaced by a nanny, but visits his dad. Day-by-day candid camera captures the changes in the child. A sad sight.

Therefore, if you decide what is more important work, career, learning or free time, it is better not to hurry with the birth of children.You are ready give birth. But if a baby is born, let him be one continuous person, not successive women, sometimes lacking or do not speak Russian language, working in shifts.

I'm Afraid that if the nanny will be alone, he attached to it more than to you? Such a risk exists.

If your child will be cared for "the watch" the nanny, then he can form a disorganized type of attachment, the same as the orphanage children.

Career, personal life, self-realization are important and necessary, but the time when you for your child – the whole world and the main deity is very fast and forever. Don't miss it. The most sincere and unconditional love, the love of a child is worth it.

Oksana Surzhina
Статья выложена в ознакомительных целях. Все права на текст принадлежат ресурсу и/или автору (B17 B17)

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