The illusion of monotony or the collapse of a relationship?

the

the History of their acquaintance was unusual, so gently, saying.

From his narrative about the accidental meeting,

"the Woman was hiding in the shadows of the dimly shining lamp. Her shoulders shuddered with sobs. It was impossible to pass by, wanted to come and comfort him. I went a few times through, but like what I uncontrollably pushed her and I, over and over again, returning the path of the Park back to her."

So they met each other.

He then, at my age, about thirty, was not married, and she, a young twenty-year-old girl separated from her married man.

This is he, of course, much later learned all the details.

that night he was overwhelmed by an unusual wave of participation and tenderness to a completely stranger. He saw her such a non-shallow fragile and unhappy, lonely and beautiful.

had a relationship, dated, was that they had many common interests. Then fell in love and soon got married.

was Happy and joyful, and live in prosperity and abundance.

the Children grew up.

And, like, nothing outwardly has changed, but

in their relationship as if settled a third character who stood between them, they both felt uncomfortable in the relationship, a breath of ordinariness, dullness and some sort of formality.

I Felt the first he.

versatile and sensitive by nature, he worried about such, which became stressful for him, relations with his wife last year.

It was a powerful opportunity for consultation.
Yes, this story is not unique.

what Happens when you live a long time with the person, and time measured in years and sometimes decades, in a relationship there is some stereotypical behavior, formal interaction.

the couple had lunch, dinner, and, in fact, cannot see each other, one buried in the TV, the other into the phone. Or something else, does not matter, they are mechanically on the same space.

And all. The same situation is in other actions and affection, and sex, in love. Hugs, pats become officers.

And appears in the family indifferent attitude, indifferent and apathetic.

You ask: "Recipe from this indifferent state is suspended?"

I answer: "Yes!"

And it consists in a few words – as a presence.

the Quality of presence is about your mutual involvement in each other, renewed interest to everyone in your pair.

slowly, gradually slow the pace of your action, come to awareness of the interaction, put hidden meaning in the glance.

Every touch is not just touch, but filled with a special, intimate sense of contact with a loved one.

Every look is maintaining prolonged eye contact, when your pet might see, to feel tenderness, love, affection.

So, to recap: to restore flagging, losing paint, the feelings, trying to get rid of formality, familiarity and enrich each other as a presence in close contact, empathy.



Important and unconditional precondition for the restoration of attraction to the partner and the brightness of the relationship – you love each other.

2019-01-04
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