On Christmas vacation finally watched the children's film "Manana", the image of the heroine whom I admired in my childhood ("I'm not Oksana!" - https://www.b17.ru/article/i_bolshe_ne_oksana/ ).
the Film tells the story of a spirited girl Manana, which before my mother died, the father works a lot and she is actually in the care of grandparents, who doted and pampered in every way. From such education the girl is walking to school, she often makes the lessons grandpa, because her head hurts, the stomach, it is very difficult, and the teacher will put a deuce. Thus, the granddaughter of strongly manipulating the grandparents, deceiving them and others. By the way, grandparents are also fans of the FIB for the sake of the granddaughter. And then one day for coma lies girls just don't happen the tragic events. Then Manana owns up and makes a promise to yourself, to others not to deceive.
WHY do PEOPLE CHEAT?
Because the trick begin have small children. However, quite two-three years kids is more fantasy, which they cannot distinguish from reality. Five year olds are deceiving consciously and deliberately. But also not just so, and for a reason ("the Teacher beat me!" - https://www.b17.ru/article/vospitatelnitsa_menya_pobila/ ).
- it was impossible to tell the truth, severely punished;
- the family decided to lie and so build engagement;
- this way is very easy with the people to succeed.
This style of interaction becomes a protection, developed a script and different people to communicate has not learned.
the Man made a choice in favor of the lie as the most convenient means.
sorry, brutal honesty in virtually unavailable. People often lie on the little things, to save other people, countries, General business. Not to mention the global lie, when a person knows in advance that it will bring other people pain and trouble. Or will it be dangerous for the person.
But closer to being a generally honest person is possible.
In his novel "the Idiot" Dostoevsky tried to show the image of the crystal honest man, Prince Myshkin. Myshkin always tells the truth... and earns the reputation of "idiot". In addition, he inadvertently breaks the life of two women, or rather one of them loses his life.
So whether honest in their behavior Myshkin?
In terms of what he currently comes to mind, Yes. Only worth if all you think of to say to others? How others will react? What to do with it? How to live with it?
unfortunately, Prince Myshkin has often been dishonest with yourself. And when there was a risk of the destruction of his illusions, was an epileptic seizure that knocked him out of the interaction with the world.
Thus, to create the image of the hero closer to the image of Jesus Christ, to Fyodor Dostoyevsky's novel "Idiot" failed.
But now, in his latest work "the Brothers Karamazov", which is the apex of his genius, Alesha Karamazov was more close to that ideal which was conceived by Dostoyevsky.
Alexey Karamazov the young man who can reflect and understand what he feels. Who is aware of what he expects from the world and that he can in this world to do. He does have an opinion, but he is in no hurry all stun and kill his truth. He looks up when the truth would be appropriate, in what quantities, in what forms, and when to remain silent. Allows him to do what he is extremely psychologically healthy person, in spite of a family history in the face of a monstrous father died early and poor mother.
our customers come not Alexei Karamazovi. And they can make up their history (this, of course, in full-time work is very rare, and here on the forum – such cases sufficient), to cheat at some parts of the story, something does not agree to remain silent. Even if the client is not consciously cheating, he can tell the story correctly. Can deceive yourself in the process of life (Abba Dorotheos gave this type of definition lies – "lies").
will throw ourselves whether we can expose a client's fraud? Of course not. We work with what the client gives, in his reality. Yes, we will pay attention to the contradictions, to look for meanings even in fictional stories, which is also worth something, no wonder it was invented. We note that: here, I feel, did not finish, here is not like the truth, but not to vypalovaci it head-on to the client. We can assume some version and ask customer, "does this version of base, or he does not and not that?". But man never for us there will be defendants who need to expose and expose. .
How to treat cheating customers? I agree with Irwin Aloma, who believes it is the responsibility of the client. And our responsibility: not to exploit, and to work with what brought. But to assume that deception in our practice possible. And it's the customer's problem, which at this stage is not able differently.
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