Who are the manipulators, I guess no need to explain. It's the people, whether men or women who could pull the thin strings of the soul, guiding him in the right direction.
In the right direction.
As it happens, and why we are manipulated?
First, the answer to the second part of the question.
"Being" we are because once there in his family as children and in the brain has formed neural connections.
Because we are being manipulated by parents, and parents we loved, we believed them and manipulation did not notice. And this is reason number two. Manipulation is necessary to be aware of.
If you are someone who likes, does not mean that it is not manipulated! Remember The "Games" Eric Berne. Playing with you all!
But if it's about Mature communication, the desire to "play", i.e. to manipulate disappears. The basis of such a relationship is trust, not manipulation.
Recognize the manipulation is not difficult and it's better to do in the beginning of the relationship.
And this can be done by key phrases and the way to build a "dialogue".
actually will not be any dialogue. The manipulator itself will tell you what he needs, so much so that you will feel that you "fool".
How would you not persuaded of the manipulator that you didn't say that, you still remain a fool!
And that's just to convince / persuade manipulator – a gross error!
the Essence of manipulation – to catch you to plant on the emotional hook. If "fish caught", be it in a frying pan with boiling oil, which the manipulator will only add to the fire of emotions that you are caught.
usually, it all starts with one emotion (based on feeling) is your weak link, and then connect the other.
Communicating with you, the manipulator will lead you to what you naive to understand him better, and he better understood, I will begin to give arguments and explanations.
ie get into the role of a fool or a scapegoat.
A paddle thing that you need to run the game.
with its arguments and not wanting to lose his face (he can not prevent) the manipulator in response to your argument with a great probability say:
And this phrase is the trigger of the manipulator.
Genuinely not knowing what was happening, you will begin to bring more and more arguments, trying to explain what I wanted to say and again oil on the fire pour "No excuses!"
You will begin to boil more and more, sinking into the feeling that you are "not okay" and if you don't stop in time, you will start to run in circle of manipulation, like a squirrel in a wheel.
And in time to stop it is to stop as soon as you have doubts about your own sanity or as soon as you heard the coveted "No excuses!".
what is the magic of this phrase?
the fact that this sentence most of us first heard from his parents in childhood, then when they (the parents) particularly in the vicissitudes of the child's soul to understand did not want, whether by virtue of employment, whether because of fatigue or because of a lack of empathy.
In General, not listened to, any position not occupied except for the one upstairs, saying its coveted "No excuses!" simply put you "in place" - the place of a small child.
it Should be noted that wise parents and teachers can only welcome attempts by children and adolescents to defend their positions and to argue, because in a dispute born truth, this time, and the only way, and escaping into the bushes, it is possible to resolve the conflict.
What makes a manipulator?
Being himself "not a horse" he's all truth and righteousness is trying to make you rush, and even worse, because he desired a triumph, a victory, but not the battle.
the Fight, he fears, the more open. He is avoiding conflict, puts you in the position of the baby by only one phrase "No excuses!", as once did the parents, which is apparently in dispute (conflict) did not have the strength.
the Essence of this action that the manipulator starts the mechanism of formation of such feelings as guilt (this is the hook) and make sense in your excuses no, because the manipulator does not believe you and is not going.
the easiest "pin", making the opponent's fault.
REMEMBER: You have nothing to justify – you are not to blame! You have your own truth, because you believe yourself, not the manipulator.
the Position of an adult allows you to see the trick and not get involved emotionally.