so, manipulation, influence, negotiation is the common name of this series and today we are going to engage in a rather interesting format. Today our topic is a manipulation of perceptual positions.
Let us briefly recall still, what is the position of perception, what kind of format. Repetition is the mother of learning. We consider mainly the 4 perceptual positions, I will remind you again. 1 - I, 2 - I have another 3 - view from the balcony, as we say, or the expert, observer and 4 position. This is the position that unites all of the negotiators in the framework of "we." Flexibility in the use positions, the perception is that we can:
- you go to the ' positions of perception at the right time and at the right time, occupying the particular position of perception, we need
- can translate our interlocutor, our opponent from one position of perception to another, so that it would correspond to our intentions and our goals of communication.
That is, understanding the manipulation of responsibility for result of communications, and making maximum effort. Tools, efforts, probably, not very rightly said, because the result should be easy, fun, I would say with a twinkle, well, as it should.
so, friends, 1 position perception. As I said, the position "I" is what I want, what I want - I get. That is, man believes what he wants and can, and the only obstacle in the only one who tries in any way to object. 1 position means that I want what I want here and now. This is the position of a small child and a short feedback loop, here and now. The universe is vulnerable and weak and take from it all, this is my task. The subject owns one who can break it.
I remember such a scene. In one of the cafes, by the way, it was in Arkhangelsk, a small restaurant, which is located on the 1st floor of the "House of youth", near the stadium, gathered adults to celebrate the child's birthday. I think the child was 3-4 years max, so why is his birthday I decided to celebrate in a restaurant. All was decorous, according to the rules, on both sides of the table sat guests, was put flowers, snacks, everything. Quite clear was the value, that is the most important thing, if it can be metaphorically said, the main value is the decorum, tranquility and presentable parents. This situation gave this their base value. Well, of course, what about the child if parents have the decorum to sit, the child who was put at the head of the table, what is required? He naturally need to run, to fool around, well some of the time he sits, due to politeness, which he managed to master. He then tries to get off, naturally, his mother is immediately uttered: "Sit still, sit down". He again tries to get off, his mother again puts in place and here it is evident that the position of a small child. And that is the idea that the subject owns one who can break. If I can break the machine - it's mine, if I can break the bucket - it's mine. In this situation the restaurant is in the power of the child to break? Naturally, respectability, calmness, quietness, and he gives you this sign, "Aah!" And the people at the next table are already starting to look and mom realizes that decorum is somehow in question, but still trying to sit him down. Then he delivers the following message: "Aaaaaa" and tries to get down from the table. Guests are already starting to get nervous that somehow everything is going according to rules. And, in the end, mother waving, baby let go, and he, as we sat there, ran in the fun on this hall. The guests accordingly were sitting and doing their thing - ate dinner, ate. What we are in this situation see? The child shown here is just the most 1 baby position of perception: "All that I need - must be obtained here and now." Well, so he got what he wanted almost immediately. That is, he received the freedom. What's he got? But this: "I own your values at this point, so if I own them, sorry, situation control me." To insist on to the last and will definitely get, well, an illustration of this position we had in this story.
my Friends, and this 1 position - she was the first emerging from a person, remains for a long time, and many adults, she is indeed familiar. If there are people who have the first, and I've seen it often enough. Sometimes we conduct trainings on negotiations for a very tough negotiators is the toughest in my memory. It is not strange and not politicians, though, and worked with them, and not the Director, because those people are flexible. Senior managers, usually of departments of all bulk purchases, which is: "Squeeze a couple of lemons in a hurry" - it is normal for them slang.
Here in this case is absolutely clear, when two people meet, the first on the first position, they will agree in a minute if they already have a solution or any ideas of a Mexican standoff. I know you can shoot, I can shoot and the question is, who was the first to take the muzzle of the gun.
my Friends, a person cannot exist all the time in the first position, and he understands that at some point you need to negotiate. By the way, a little bit looking forward, when we will talk to you about the rules positional advantages and the rules of positional transitions. How to move from perceptual positions how to drag a person from one position to another in the process of communication.